un: mortiscausa

[subconmodo]

What's up, everyone? Enjoying your midterms? No? I thought not.

Lucky for those of you taking my class, I happen to be feeling generous. Take note, people. This is a once in a term event here!

I'd like to offer you unlucky souls a deal. See, I've been trying to get a little fitter over the past few months. Can't use magic to solve every problem you have, right? Right! I want to see how much progress I made.

That's where you come in.

You beat me in a race? You get an A on your midterm! I'll even put it in writing so you have a paper trail. The only thing I ask is that I get to pick the time. I'm a busy man, you know.

Feel free to ask any questions you want. And don't feel put out just because you don't see any replies. I'm screening all comments in order to protect my students' previous privacy.

((Please see the OOC post here!))

Comments

[yokeye]

I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE A RACE
TO SEE WHO CAN READ THE FINE PRINT OF A CONTRACT
[OF MY CHOOSING! NO MEMORIZING IT FIRST!]
ALOUD THE FASTEST!
IS THIS AN ACCEPTABLE RACE?

[subconmodo]

[he is very, very close to turning this one down. He KNOWS how quickly Toki talks. The boy is a veritable maelstrom of words. But...]

On the condition that you don't memorize it either. Any other stipulations you would like to provide?

[yokeye]

[He has not thought that far ahead and assumes he has already won this challenge, unless Avery is secretly an auctioneer in his spare time. Possible unsportsmanlike interference is not a blip on the radar, though it probably should be.]

I WON'T MEMORIZE EITHER!
IT WILL BE RANDOMLY CHOSEN FROM THE INTERNET THE DAY OF!
NO FURTHER STIPULATIONS!

[subconmodo]

Perfect! Good to hear. Meet me in my classroom around 8PM tomorrow. Feel free to bring anyone you'd like as a witness.

[yokeye]

IS PROFESSOR WHITE CHAIN AN ACCEPTABLE WITNESS?

[subconmodo]

That depends on why you want her specifically to be the one to act as witness.

Because if it's another one of your attempts to make us an item, it's not gonna happen.

[yokeye]

I TRUST HER TO KEEP YOU IN LINE
IN THE EVENT I HAVE NEGLECTED TO CONSIDER ANYTHING IMPORTANT
WITHIN THE TERMS OF THE AGREEMENT!
EKKEHARDT WILL ALSO BE ACCEPTABLE IF
YOU WISH TO VETO WHITE CHAIN!

I'M SORRY, BUT I DON'T KNOW TO WHAT YOU'RE REFERRING THERE!

[subconmodo]

Either one. Or even both. Just be sure to let me know by the end of the day which of them you choose.

[yokeye]

I HAVE CHOSEN EKKEHARDT!

8pm, the next day

[yokeye]

[At the appointed time, Toki has arrived at Avery's classroom with Ekkehardt. He has chosen the random contractual fine print example; which happens to be four pages single-spaced and peppered with excessive legalese.]

Hello, Professor Atchison~! Thank you for this most generous midterm alternative~!

[subconmodo]

[Excessive legalese? HA. HE WENT TO LAW SCHOOL, TOKI.]

Of course, of course! Now, as I mentioned before, I put everything in writing. Feel free to look it over if you don't believe me.

[He pulls the paper out of a binder, holding it out for Toki to inspect.]

I, Avery Atchison, agree to a contest of words. Tokidoki Rikugou will provide a copy of legal fine print, chosen randomly from an internet search, to be read by both parties. Neither party is to memorize the contents of the contest material before the appointed time, decided upon by Avery Atchison. Whoever finishes the reading first is declared the winner.

Should Tokidoki Rikugou be declared the winner of the contest, he shall receive an A on his midterm. He is allowed to bring one (1) witness.

x_______________













[The contract is entirely in German.]

[yokeye]

[HE DID NOT KNOW THAT.]

Okay!

[He looks at the written terms of the "race" and has no idea even what language it's in.]

Hmm. I think I should like to have my witness here look this over for accuracy~!

[He gestures for Ekkehardt to approve the terms if they're sufficient. Hopefully, he know what it says.]

[spelleton]

[ How did he get dragged into this? Because he can't say no to student requests provided they're reasonable, which to him is...most things, honestly. He takes the paper when it's handed to him. ]

German? Really?

[ He reads it and then translates it back to Toki in Japanese. He's not as fluent with Japanese as he is with German, but it should be more than enough for Toki to understand what he's agreeing to. ]

This is your exam, so you should know what it says.

Are you willing to agree to the terms?

[subconmodo]

I said I would put it in writing. I never said what language.

[yokeye]

I agree to these terms as presented~!

[subconmodo]

PERFECT!

[He holds out a pen for Toki to sign with. Not in blood, of course. Not only does he just not Do that, but that's a good way to ruin a perfectly good, non-magical pen. Also this is a contract, not a Contract.]

[Once he's finished, he puts his wax seal on it, folds the paper, tucks it away, and grabs his copy of the material.]

Gehring, if you would be so kind as to do the countdown?

[spelleton]

[ Well, this is a contracting class, so he can't fault that logic. He just sort of shrugs, as if to say 'fair enough'.

And he obliges, counting down from three. ]

[subconmodo]

[The second the countdown is over, Avery plunges the room into darkness.]

[And then he begins reading the material that Toki provided, legal terms flowing from his lips with practiced ease.]

[yokeye]

[Oh, shit. Okay. That will give Avery a head start. But nothing in the contract signed states that they had to stay in the classroom. Toki steps out into the still-lighted hallway and reads as fast as possible before something else goes wrong.]

[subconmodo]

[hm. Good thinking on his feet.]

[Avery's reading slows down a bit as he reaches into his pocket, then briefly stops as he tosses something into the hall, the glitter-bomb exploding into sparkly delight that will likely spell his doom at the hands of Mario at some later date as it passes over Toki's head.]

[yokeye]

[Don't look at them. He keeps reading, brushing off the... really shiny sparkly things... No... Where was he? Okay. He lost some traction there, but he's just flipped to page three and will not be deterred that easily.]

[subconmodo]

[Toki may have bested distraction one, but Avery still has one more trick up his sleeve. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a cheap pen.]

[And as he continues to read, clicking it the whole time.]

[How does he dare survive this menace?]

[yokeye]

[Being out in the hallway, and fairly loud, Toki doesn't even hear the pen clicking over the sound of his own voice. And there's the turn to page four.]

[subconmodo]

[Avery does what he can, including toss out one last glitter bomb, but even with his prep he still can't beat Toki when it comes down to this particular contest.]

[It's close, however, and he finishes but a moment after, half-breathless and wishing he'd brought a cup of water.]

[The lights come back on]

Congratulations. You actually managed to do good work there.

[He sets the paper aside.]

Now. What did you manage to learn from this experience?

[yokeye]

[He didn't truthfully expect to win here, but he supposes Avery was banking on that shroud of darkness thing. He returns to the classroom when the lights come back on.]

Actually? That surprises you~!? I'm offended you think so lowly of my previous endeavors!

[Now what did he learn...]

I have learned, most importantly, that any underhanded tactics should be employed whenever possible~! And that winning is only a matter of luck because no one will ever play fair~!