Jailbreak (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
nor_iron_bars) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
irisnetwork2019-05-02 11:33 pm
nor_iron_bars) wrote in irisnetwork2019-05-02 11:33 pm
Entry tags:
un: jaybird
[There's a post uploaded to the Iris Network from Jail's account, that appears to be some kind of video from a cell phone camera- albeit a very good quality one. It begins with a shot of Daybreak's campus from the perspective of someone standing on one of the rooftops, slowly panning over to show the full view of the scenery.]
Our worlds are full of natural wonders, both large- [The video cuts to a hastily-filmed clip of Indrik, barreling past during his run around campus a couple months ago.] -and small. [Now it's just a picture of a kitten.]
[The voice-over narration definitely sounds like Jail, albeit in a very particular tone, the sort of calm academic cadence and faint British accent that inevitably seems to end up being part of a TV documentary.]
Many live in remote, dangerous areas, like the lifeless wastes of Kel'thaharn- or, as it's known by the more human residents, New Jersey. Those rare, brave explorers who journey forth to document the creatures that inhabit those strange lands are true heroes of science, examples to us all. But sometimes, we are fortunate enough to uncover fascinating opportunities...
[Cut to the inside of a hallway, camera panning along until it stops at the door to the staff room.]
...right here, in our own backyard. Join me, as I embark on a quest to document one of Daybreak Academy's most unique and unusual native species:
[Shot of one of the more recent official staff group photos, in which everyone looks professional and like they're feeling deeply awkward to be there, zoom in and smash cut to the inside of the staff room.]
The suit-wearing magic goth dude.
Our humble ecosystem supports not one or two but four of these rare creatures, with the possibility of more as yet undiscovered. That warrants serious scientific study. Also, it's enough for the cast of a dating sim, like the one I'm definitely not programming in my spare time.
[The camera slowly zooms in on Valvatorez, sitting in one of the staff room chairs and munching on his usual Oops! All Sardines lunch, apparently not aware that he's being filmed.]
In front of us is a fine specimen of Piscis fanaticus, also known as the Long-Caped Suit Goth. Note the dramatic plumage that results in the species' common name. [A brief shot from the back, emphasizing Valvatorez's vampire cape.] While many carnivorous species are very defensive of their prey, P. fanaticus is quite the opposite, preferring to hunt in order to provide for the whole pack... whether or not they asked for it.
[The camera pans over to Avery, looking disgruntled as he attempts to fend off yet another suggestion from Valvatorez about trying some of the sardines.]
By contrast, Salis juris, the Floof-Maned Suit Goth, prefers a diet consisting almost entirely of coffee and the tears of pre-law majors, though other liquids may be acceptable, if mixed with sufficient quantities of alcohol and delivered with a fancy little paper umbrella.
[Suddenly, the camera whips around to face the staff-room door... just as it opens, and Grimm walks through.]
Ah. A newcomer. The Point-Haired Suit Goth, Intonat itinerantur, is a more migratory subspecies, and we've only recently reached the right time of year to start seeing them again. But, will he have a warm welcome?
[The shot focuses on Grimm walking over to the same table as Val and Avery, accompanied by hilariously overdramatic background music.]
Or will the sight of a potential rival... prompt an attack?
[The music swells, and...]
[Grimm sits down. Like a normal person. Nothing happens.]
Fortunate success- they seem to have accepted him as one of their own. [Ominous pause.] But wait- there's only three. Where, you may wonder, is the fourth member of the pack?
[Smash cut to the infirmary, a single shot apparently being filmed from outside, through the window. Ekkehardt is standing at one of the counters, apparently organizing something in a cabinet.]
Yes, unlike the others, the more solitary subspecies of Vell medicus, or Definitely Not Paid Enough For This Crap Suit Goth, prefers a quieter, more-
[She cuts off midsentence as Ekkehardt turns around and makes direct eye contact with the camera.]
Aw, fuck.
[The camera angle abruptly shifts about ninety degrees and gets much shakier, as though someone's sprinting along the sheer wall of the building away from the infirmary window at top speed.]
Remember to like, comment, and subscribe for more content, assuming I live that long.
[The video cuts off.]
Our worlds are full of natural wonders, both large- [The video cuts to a hastily-filmed clip of Indrik, barreling past during his run around campus a couple months ago.] -and small. [Now it's just a picture of a kitten.]
[The voice-over narration definitely sounds like Jail, albeit in a very particular tone, the sort of calm academic cadence and faint British accent that inevitably seems to end up being part of a TV documentary.]
Many live in remote, dangerous areas, like the lifeless wastes of Kel'thaharn- or, as it's known by the more human residents, New Jersey. Those rare, brave explorers who journey forth to document the creatures that inhabit those strange lands are true heroes of science, examples to us all. But sometimes, we are fortunate enough to uncover fascinating opportunities...
[Cut to the inside of a hallway, camera panning along until it stops at the door to the staff room.]
...right here, in our own backyard. Join me, as I embark on a quest to document one of Daybreak Academy's most unique and unusual native species:
[Shot of one of the more recent official staff group photos, in which everyone looks professional and like they're feeling deeply awkward to be there, zoom in and smash cut to the inside of the staff room.]
The suit-wearing magic goth dude.
Our humble ecosystem supports not one or two but four of these rare creatures, with the possibility of more as yet undiscovered. That warrants serious scientific study. Also, it's enough for the cast of a dating sim, like the one I'm definitely not programming in my spare time.
[The camera slowly zooms in on Valvatorez, sitting in one of the staff room chairs and munching on his usual Oops! All Sardines lunch, apparently not aware that he's being filmed.]
In front of us is a fine specimen of Piscis fanaticus, also known as the Long-Caped Suit Goth. Note the dramatic plumage that results in the species' common name. [A brief shot from the back, emphasizing Valvatorez's vampire cape.] While many carnivorous species are very defensive of their prey, P. fanaticus is quite the opposite, preferring to hunt in order to provide for the whole pack... whether or not they asked for it.
[The camera pans over to Avery, looking disgruntled as he attempts to fend off yet another suggestion from Valvatorez about trying some of the sardines.]
By contrast, Salis juris, the Floof-Maned Suit Goth, prefers a diet consisting almost entirely of coffee and the tears of pre-law majors, though other liquids may be acceptable, if mixed with sufficient quantities of alcohol and delivered with a fancy little paper umbrella.
[Suddenly, the camera whips around to face the staff-room door... just as it opens, and Grimm walks through.]
Ah. A newcomer. The Point-Haired Suit Goth, Intonat itinerantur, is a more migratory subspecies, and we've only recently reached the right time of year to start seeing them again. But, will he have a warm welcome?
[The shot focuses on Grimm walking over to the same table as Val and Avery, accompanied by hilariously overdramatic background music.]
Or will the sight of a potential rival... prompt an attack?
[The music swells, and...]
[Grimm sits down. Like a normal person. Nothing happens.]
Fortunate success- they seem to have accepted him as one of their own. [Ominous pause.] But wait- there's only three. Where, you may wonder, is the fourth member of the pack?
[Smash cut to the infirmary, a single shot apparently being filmed from outside, through the window. Ekkehardt is standing at one of the counters, apparently organizing something in a cabinet.]
Yes, unlike the others, the more solitary subspecies of Vell medicus, or Definitely Not Paid Enough For This Crap Suit Goth, prefers a quieter, more-
[She cuts off midsentence as Ekkehardt turns around and makes direct eye contact with the camera.]
Aw, fuck.
[The camera angle abruptly shifts about ninety degrees and gets much shakier, as though someone's sprinting along the sheer wall of the building away from the infirmary window at top speed.]
Remember to like, comment, and subscribe for more content, assuming I live that long.
[The video cuts off.]
no subject
otherwise it'll never toughen up and learn how to be a big, strong procrastination stack.
gotta let it grow up.
[This is extremely bad advice on all possible levels.]
no subject
But if you leave it in your office long enough it probably will be.
[ Or he'll just give up and do it for her which is the most likely option ]
no subject
[That's because people with an actual sense of responsibility pick it up and move it somewhere else where it actually gets done, Jail.]
let it be free.
no subject
That's the only reason it moves.
Also why are you programming a dating sim?
no subject
2. for mad cash
so basically the same two reasons i do anything.