un: weaseling

[deuteranope]

alright now that I got your fucking attention

does anyone actually fucking play cricket like what the fuck why are there so many fucking books on this dumbass sport?

the bat is a cross between a boating oar and a sex toy

not at all ideal for knocking over mailboxes in a satisfying fucking manner

not that baseball's that fucking great either tbh like all sports are kind of shit change my mind

don't suppose any of you have ever read a book on crickets the fucking bug not the fucking bat and ball game

that isn't like

the very quiet cricket?

god fucking knows cricket ain't quiet

ps Imelda is the enemy by design only. poor woman has to deal with so fucking much as this fucking floor's RA we're a plethora of asses so go easy on her when it comes to the rebellion ok?

#FREETHEBEATS #BUTDON’TCAUSETREBLE

Comments

un: weaseling

[deuteranope]

pontificating, perhaps

un: i.rivera

[no_dejare_de_quererte]

Isn't that essentially the same thing at this point?

un: weaseling

[deuteranope]

gotta stop generalizing things Imelda

un: i.rivera

[no_dejare_de_quererte]

Generalizing is not against the rules. Yet.

un: weaseling

[deuteranope]

as one half of the population residing in our shared living space I hereby declare the majority of generalizing to be against the rules. for a full list (alterations pending) of situations in which generalizing is allowed please press 1

un: i.rivera

[no_dejare_de_quererte]

1

un: weaseling

[deuteranope]

List of Situations in which Generalizing is an Acceptable Course of Conversational Action

- When dealing with a subject or subjects considered traumatic or unpleasant to the point of negatively affecting the mental, physical, and/or emotional health of one or more participants in the conversation.
- When making a statement that's so fucking obvious it's universally accepted to the point where the generalization is just a statement of fact, i.e. cats are great.
- When needing to end the conversation in order to complete a task, i.e. chill Imelda I gotta do homework (in which "homework" is the generalized object, as opposed to "big science essay and pages 70-72 in this maths book" or whatever.)

Subject to alterations at any point by Maverick Taylor. All requests for change must be presented to Maverick Taylor for consideration before approval or, potentially, denial. Please submit requests by way of letter underneath the door (preferred) or through a private Iris message to Maverick Taylor's account.

Thank you for your cooperation.

un: i.rivera

[no_dejare_de_quererte]

Hmm. Your list seems to be missing a case of "Rebuffing facetious quips with a likewise facetious quips."

un: weaseling

[deuteranope]

astute observation

you may make your case

un: i.rivera

[no_dejare_de_quererte]

I think this case speaks for itself. Honestly, it's a gross oversight on your part. I would have thought such a carefully documented list would be more comprehensive.

un: weaseling

[deuteranope]

well damn Imelda I didn't want to spend a fucking eternity drafting such an important document that I'm allowed to edit at Will there's only so much professionalism I got in me per reply and used up like a months worth there

[no_dejare_de_quererte]

Maybe you should have thought of that before pretending to have such a professional approach to a superficial list of rules about what I can and can't generalize?

[deuteranope]

Imelda learn to fucking live a little please

hey want me to text my mom and ask her if she wants to go out for drinks

[no_dejare_de_quererte]

What?

[No seriously. What?]

[deuteranope]

you look about the same age gotta be way more fucking fun to hang out with her getting drunk or something than babysitting fucking lumi3

[no_dejare_de_quererte]

You *want* me to hang out with your mother?

[deuteranope]

want you to chill out

besides she's probably bored I dunno how many friends she's got these days and that's no good

[no_dejare_de_quererte]

I am an acceptable level of "chill", thank you.

But I don't just "go out for drinks" with near strangers.

[deuteranope]

no fucking wonder you're so uptight

I'll give you the rundown on Mama so she's not a stranger then: she's fucking perfect

[no_dejare_de_quererte]

Hmm. What a stunning review. I'm absolutely swayed now.

If you really want to, you can leave me her information, and I'll think about it.

[deuteranope]

this is me doing you a favor you know

I'll slide the deets under your door when I get back

[...]

I gave her a heads up so she doesn't assume I killed a man or anything if some rando adult calls her and now she's asking me dumb questions about you I don't fucking care about this is why I don't do nice things for people

[no_dejare_de_quererte]

[...

The urge to point out that she didn't ask him for this is pretty high. But also, she gets the feeling that it's not actually her that he's trying to do something nice for.]

What kind of questions is she asking?

[deuteranope]

[It's a little of both...but yeah, mostly for the real mom, not the school mom. Even if real mom is making him want to die at the moment.]

don't get weird but to fucking sum it up, if you date women

[no_dejare_de_quererte]

[She has to just stare at her phone for a moment, sorry Maverick. She doesn't even think to type 'oh'. That was absolutely not a question that she expected to be asked.]

I don't date.

[...]

Anyone, I mean.
I don't do dates.

[deuteranope]

[he is so...relieved.]

I think she was worrying about whether or not to gussy up or whatever if she met you but seeing as I'd really prefer you not dating my fucking mom I will be more than fucking happy to inform her of this