UN: HisBurlyness

[talkstoposters]

Alright, chumps, I think it's about time we talk about something actually important: prom.

For most of you kids, it's going to be a pretty big deal. If you botch this up, you're going to be staring at bad memories until your eyeballs fall out. Though luckily for you punks, I'm here. Why am I going to help? Because if you make fools out of yourselves, then the school looks dumb. But more important than that, I LOOK DUMB! And I'm not about to lose any cred I've got because you kids can't dress yourselves or you've got two left feet!

So here's the deal. I'm going to be offering dance lessons in the gym. Probably going to toss in some fashion advice, too. Some of you could use it.

Comments

[talkstoposters]

It's not impossible. I've seen Mario do it at least once.

Anyway, sure. I think I've still got some of Avery's money from the last bet. Put me down for 10 euros.

[strings_theory]

I wasn't serious, but I mean, I guess I could actually start one.

Spread the word, I guess.

[talkstoposters]

Nah, that sounds like way too much effort. I thought you already had one going.

[strings_theory]

Does it look like I have fucking money, first off?

Secondly, my crimes involved jacking cars and shit, not illegal gambling rings. Not my area.

[talkstoposters]

How am I supposed to know any of that? Does it look like I read every student's file? I have classes to teach, a son to raise, a kingdom to run, and a Mario to stomp. I'm a very busy koopa.

[strings_theory]

Wait, back up.

You have a kid?

[talkstoposters]

Yeah, he goes here. Do you want to see a picture of him?

[strings_theory]

... Sure, why not.

So I'm guessing there's, like, others of your species/race/whatever? Wasn't sure.

[talkstoposters]

[The image sent is one of Junior cutting a birthday cake. He's wearing a small birthday hat and laughing as he cuts a big piece for himself.]

Yeah, there's plenty of other koopas. Most aren't like me, though. I'm the biggest, baddest one around. Least until my son gets older! He takes after his old man and then some.

[strings_theory]

[Why is that absolutely fucking adorable? What the fuck.]

Huh, the more you know. Cute kid, though, I'll give you that much. Not that I'm normally too big on kids.

[talkstoposters]

[Because his son is The Best.]

He is the cutest. If most of the kids here were like him, this job would be a whole lot easier.

[Not saying he doesn't like kids, though.]