UN: GreenDolphin

[strings_theory]

Well, fuck, I figured this would go to hell a little bit, so lemme clear some stuff up for all of you. No, I'm actually being serious here for once.

If you could do me a huge favor and maybe not be absolute assholes to all of the UN people, that'd be kinda chill? I don't like 'em either, but the dumb-ass in charge of them is a family member of mine and he's pretty chill. Good dude. Only one that isn't a total fucking freak show.

On that note, if he starts calling me anything other than my name, he's a lying sack of shit. Don't call me that shit.

Also, he can deny it all he wants, but he's kinda my grand uncle. Welcome to my family, it's goddamned fucking stupid and great grandpa's a fucking trainwreck. Just sayin'.

Thanks or w/e.

P.S. Don't insult his hair. Just trust me on this. I know it's fucking stupid looking, but he hits harder than I do.

Comments

[strings_theory]

Kinda, I guess? Everything kinda sucks, mostly. But weirder shit has happened to the rest of the family before me, I've just gotten out of a little luckier than them.

For now, anyway.

[stavros]

Knowing all your ancestors' stories does at least leave a blueprint for dealing with it. Though admittedly, it's daunting.

[strings_theory]

Hooooly shit, you're giving me way too much credit here. I know barely anything because these motherfuckers haven't told me much of shit.

Welcome to my shitty family where we just kinda shrug and think it's not important.

[stavros]

How is a legacy like that not important? those things catch up with you!

[strings_theory]

Fuck if I know? Shit, I didn't even know this shit existed until, like, a couple months ago or whatever. So you tell me.

[stavros]

It sounds like they must have had their reasons, but I can't imagine what. Especially if fate is sure to draw you into these things anyway.

[strings_theory]

I'm going to guess the reasons are "oh, you should have already known that without anyone telling you!!!!" or something equally as fucking dumb.

Something something the familiar type we use are attracted to one another or some shit.

It's.

A fucking.

Lot.

[stavros]

It does seem to be more something you'd be generally told beforehand. Possibly lectured on.