thanks, mav

[suddenlybees]

Offer good one per person, per calendar month.
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[suddenlybees]

Not a problem at all~
It'll be like a blind date, then~!
How exciting~!!!

[heromedal]

Do you even know who I am either?

[ If he'd ever read one he'd be starting to feel like the straight man protagonist of gag manga.

[suddenlybees]

Epicyon.
Aren't you Rex?

[heromedal]

So you do.

[ Which makes it weirder. He's ugly with a terrible personality- which I guess means he has at least one thing in common with this dude.

Oh well. He'll snoop out who this is, shouldn't be too hard.

Well, it's not like I'm doing anything special that night anyway.

[suddenlybees]

[ With how often Kano posts to the network, it shouldn't be too hard to find a real name and face to attach with his username... Three years of shitposts... ]

Perfect~
I'd pick you up but I'll be running a bit late, so...
How about I come find you after dinner?

[heromedal]

I'll just turn up whenever if I actually want to go.

[ He also hasn't said YES yet either.

It needs careful calculation with actual math and everything. ]

[suddenlybees]

Aw, there's a chance you'll stand me up?
I might cry, Rex!!

[heromedal]

I’m quite sure you’re the sort of person who would have fun without me, so you’ll forgive me for being fairly unconcerned with that outcome.

Besides, ‘why don’t you go with me’ and then seeing if I’ll pay for the privilege isn’t especially romantic.

[ Fucking woo a guy, geeze. ]

[suddenlybees]

But I won't have as *much* fun without you...
You're in Aube, right?
3rd floor?
Are you in your room right now?
If not, can you head over to your room for a bit?

[heromedal]

Before I do, I’m going to emphasise that I hate surprises.

[ Especially since he doesn’t know Kano’s abilities or personality that much, so for all he knows Kano is going to attempt to p, I dunno, poison him with pollen from a rare flower that causes heart attacks. Or shout boo at him when he doesn’t expect it and give him a heart attack. Or feed him food high in cholesterol and give him a heart attack. ]

[suddenlybees]

[ He's trying to get Rex to come to the party, heart attacks won't happen until after then, don't worry, don't worry ]

Aw, I'll have to rethink those plans, then~
But do you hate all surprises?
Even the pleasant ones?
There's so much in the world you can't predict, after all~
The world's just full of surprises~!

[heromedal]

[ 'There's so much in the world you can't predict, after all~' and 'The world's just full of surprises~' alternates as echoes in his head repeatedly and each time feels like an anvil is being dropped on his chest.^*

We'll see about that. ]

'Pleasant surprise' is an oxymoron as far as I'm concerned.

But if it's moderate I can tolerate it.

*"Lisa needs braces. Dental plan!"

[suddenlybees]

We'll have to build up that tolerance!
Be on the lookout for moderately pleasant surprises~

[heromedal]

Please don't.

[...Hmmm, wait. ]

Or at least make them pleasant but moderately surprising instead.

[suddenlybees]

100% pleasant, 47.8% surprising, got it, got it~
Pleasant will have to be my judgement call, with so little to work with, but don't worry!
I've got good judgement~

[heromedal]

47.8% is pretty high. It's almost half.

Do you still want me to come to my room or...?

[ Because as much as he dislikes surprises he's still super curious. Not knowing would drive him nuts. ]

[suddenlybees]

"Moderate" is around half, isn't it?
I could lower it to 42.4%?
But yes, yes, go to your room~

[heromedal]

Strictly speaking moderately is synonymous with the median. As there are more unsurprising events than there are surprising events by a large margin, I would say it's significantly lower than that. 10-20%.

[ He complies! Slowly and carefully, calmly and diligently. Hands in pockets, looking exactly the same as ever- half asleep, but absolutely ready to throw down. ]

[suddenlybees]

How dull!
I'll have to work harder to bring that medium back up~
Let me know when you're there!

[heromedal]

Please don’t.

[ That’s gonna be a common phrase he’s sure. ]

I’m here.

[ He hasn’t actually opened the door yet tho. ]

[suddenlybees]

Are you sure you're here?
I don't see you!
Come out to the window!

[heromedal]

[ So you wanna know what a fucking idiot dork Rex is?

He approaches the window, stands beside it out of sight and uses the camera of his phone to look out before he reveals himself.

Look he just doesn’t want to die and everyone here can kill. ]

[suddenlybees]

[ Why would Kano want to kill his date, come on...

But it looks like it's just Kano standing there in the middle of a clearing all by himself, pulling his ratty jacket closer around him as he alternates glances between the flip phone in his hand and Rex's window.

He's still waiting for Rex to make the first move come to the window. ]

[heromedal]

[ Rule one of being Rex, assume the worst constantly. He’s still winding down from the initial shock of thinking he was being blackmailed.

But... Okay, maybe he’s being nuts. He takes a few deep breathes, thinks carefully and tries to be objective about it all.

So the window opens, Rex immediately leaning on the sill with his elbows. He doesn’t say anything, just gives a ‘go on’ style nod. ]

[suddenlybees]

[ Kano looks up when the window opens, and —I hate that he's doing this but he holds his phone up to his mouth like it's a microphone and starts playing this song, you can't say you're surprised which song it is, he plays it at full blast and sings along with it, as a field of roses magically spreads across the ground around his feet, white flowers on red spelling out

"REX ARANY,
WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?
XOXOXOXO
KANO"

It's a serenade... or something......... ]