UN: hisburlyness

[talkstoposters]

[When the camera starts rolling, it looks like things are being filmed from one of the teacher's lounges. At least, from what little of the background you can make out. Most of it seems to be blocked off by some kind of tall, dragon-like figure from the bits and pieces one can make out. Seems like the camera crew is pretty incompetent. After a few tries and some yelling from the one being recorded, things finally can begin.]

Morons! I knew I shouldn't have given latiku the day off!

Uh, boss? The camera's rolling.

Is it? About time! Took you chumps long enough.

[The big brute coughs loudly and clears his throat.]

Noticed a lot of you punks have no idea who I am! The nerve! I get an invitation here and when I finally show up, nobody's even heard of the awesomest king around? Seriously? That hurts a LOT.

[He probably did not receive an inviation here.]

But nothin' I can't handle. I'm thick-shelled, after all. So listen up! The name's Bowser! King of Koopas and ruler of all things awesome! Heard you needed a hand with some Nightball thing or whatever and I'm here to lend a hand. Gonna whip you all into shape with gym and teach you to throw an actual punch, instead whatever noddle smacks you've been doing before. Seriously, can't get over how many skinny nerds there are. First lesson in my phys ed class should be shoving you into lockers and making you find a way out. Guess dodge-ball will be the next best thing!

[Towards the later half of the message, the camera starts to become a lot less steady. By the end whoever's holding actually let it drop. The feed is still recording, though on its side and zoomed in. Bowser roars and stomps forward.]

IDIOTS!

[A stream of fire can be seen extending off from the area Bowser was standing before the recording finally cuts off.]

Comments

[deuteranope]

[you come crashing into his post, he comes crashing into yours.]

As one of those skinny little nerds, [with tattoos and piercings and an inability to go five minutes without cursing] I personally would like to see you fucking try catching me and getting me in a locker.

[talkstoposters]

[perfectly balanced, as all things should be]

Still talking big, even after getting a good look at what you're dealing with?

[Bowser laughs.]

You're either really brave or really dumb, but I'm starting to like you, kid. Not everybody's got the guts to stand up to me.

[deuteranope]

[Ugh, gross. He doesn't want a weird chunky dragon to like him.]

Bravery and stupidity are pretty much the same fucking thing, but it's basic fucking maths to know your lumbering ass couldn't get your claws on me even if my shoes were tied together.

[talkstoposters]

[Another laugh.]

That sounds like a bet. You gonna follow through on that? Or you gonna talk big and then chicken out?

[deuteranope]

Ohh, you wanna get our woefully sad Professor Atchison in on this to make it official, dude? I'm sure he'd love to preside over this stupid shit.

[He usually prefers to avoid Avery in person, just dunking on him online, but this would be so worth it.]

[talkstoposters]

Professor who? [He shrugs.] Whatever. Works for me.

[deuteranope]

Christ. Learn your fucking coworkers, lardass, really? Making the kid do all the fucking work. More evidence I got this shit in the bag, I guess.

[talkstoposters]

Why should I? I've got better things to do than learn the names of every chump here. Like practicing how I'll say "I told you so" when I school you.

[deuteranope]

[Big ol' smirk that makes you wanna punch Mav in the face even more than usual. He's good at those.]

Yeah, that's a pretty foreign sentence for you, huh? Must be complicated for someone who's never said it before, and you got that fucking little brain to work with, too! I'll let you get right to fucking practice.