UN: hisburlyness

[talkstoposters]

[When the camera starts rolling, it looks like things are being filmed from one of the teacher's lounges. At least, from what little of the background you can make out. Most of it seems to be blocked off by some kind of tall, dragon-like figure from the bits and pieces one can make out. Seems like the camera crew is pretty incompetent. After a few tries and some yelling from the one being recorded, things finally can begin.]

Morons! I knew I shouldn't have given latiku the day off!

Uh, boss? The camera's rolling.

Is it? About time! Took you chumps long enough.

[The big brute coughs loudly and clears his throat.]

Noticed a lot of you punks have no idea who I am! The nerve! I get an invitation here and when I finally show up, nobody's even heard of the awesomest king around? Seriously? That hurts a LOT.

[He probably did not receive an inviation here.]

But nothin' I can't handle. I'm thick-shelled, after all. So listen up! The name's Bowser! King of Koopas and ruler of all things awesome! Heard you needed a hand with some Nightball thing or whatever and I'm here to lend a hand. Gonna whip you all into shape with gym and teach you to throw an actual punch, instead whatever noddle smacks you've been doing before. Seriously, can't get over how many skinny nerds there are. First lesson in my phys ed class should be shoving you into lockers and making you find a way out. Guess dodge-ball will be the next best thing!

[Towards the later half of the message, the camera starts to become a lot less steady. By the end whoever's holding actually let it drop. The feed is still recording, though on its side and zoomed in. Bowser roars and stomps forward.]

IDIOTS!

[A stream of fire can be seen extending off from the area Bowser was standing before the recording finally cuts off.]

Comments

UN: STEADFASTSTANCE

[betheman]

[The bear is DISPLEASED...but the word 'Should' is magic and keeps him from grumbling about lockers.]

It is known as, 'Nightfall'.

Beyond this, is dodge-ball truly so effective, as a form of combat instruction..? [The english is...slow. Definitely makes sense. But he takes his time. It's not his first language, sadly.]

[talkstoposters]

[At least this kid isn't like Midbus. Nobody could understand that guy.]

Obviously you've never played if you're asking me THAT. Dodgeball's great for training your reflexes. Get good or get pelted!

[betheman]

Mnh...it is less that, and more...I played, as a child?

I suppose if it is for, typical 'gym' class however, it makes sense as part of the...'curriculum', [he admits.]

...I am unsure that combat...is the goal of gym however...

[He sounds pretty unsure too. Largely because...technically they ARE getting ready for a war...]

[talkstoposters]

What? You serious? Not jerking my chain?

[Bowser just kind of...stares blankly at the screen, blinking a few times before returning to his neutral expression, thought slightly more grumpy than usual.]

Alright, listen up, because I'm only gonna say this once. Gym's what keeps you rough, tough, and ultra buff! You think you're gonna beat up daemons with some twig arms and legs? Guess again, chump. They'll stomp you flat! All the combat training in the world ain't gonna help you if your bod's a mess!

[betheman]

[Twigs. Gongenzaka. These things do not quite...line up but-]

Auh....

...Certainly for basic fitness it is adequate but...

Combat should require more refined practice, should it not? More focus upon certain techniques and strengths..?

[His first mistake was (not) taking Bowser seriously, but here they are now,]

[talkstoposters]

[The koopa king folds his arms against his chest. Fingers idly drum against his arm as he lets out a dismissive snort.]

Basic fitness is what lets you do anything in combat practice! Besides, I'm already teaching a combat class: Ghost Punching 101! Soon to be just Punching 101! How's that for flexing your combat muscle?

[betheman]

[He almost continues the path of argument, except-]

Ghost punching..?

As in, combat against otherwise intangible beings..?

[No, he's reading too much into it...] ...That is something I would absolutely wish to look into...

[talkstoposters]

Duh! Why else would I name it that? I'm bringing in real ghosts and everything. So if you want in, you better sign up fast!

[Because obviously everyone would be flocking to Bowser to take part in his "awesome" class. Yeah.]

[betheman]

I- I see!!

[........................]

I will definitely...Look at the application!

[...He might have to talk to other students about this...]