irisnetwork | un: weaseling

so bumble got me thinking
well first of all maverick's the "cafe" run by (you fucking guessed it) maverick (that's me) will still be just inside the lum dorms for weekdays even though there'll be fucking cameras around I guess

no more popsicles since that one asshole took off and won't answer his fucking phone but there's plenty of hot chocolate, temp tattoos, and bumble has so graciously agreed to provide cookies on occasion.
the tats are kinda in limited supply but hey that's what markers are for
and if you want someone educating on tattoos, it's gotta be me I'm great
all this cafe shit is supposed to be for rounding up loose kids but if you need a sugar rush I ain't gonna stop you
unless like...it sounds super fucking funny at the time

anyway second of all, the part she actually got me thinking about
I checked with Mama and she said the camera crew is staying somewhere else so her base has space

if you need some time (like a couple days) minus a kiddo or they just can't fucking be around during that tv shit because they look or act like a freak show
reserve a room at INN OF ATROPOS
weirdo-friendly, respects your privacy, nice as shit, food's kickass, the manager's a total babe, you get the idea
normally she'd super fucking frown on just dumping a kid at her doors but she gets this shit is kinda a weird circumstance

also let it be known I will literally bash your fucking head in if you fuck up Mama's inn, whether that you is big or little just saying

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Right? If you fuck with their heads, at least do it with a bat so it's not so fucking creepy.

[this is not...a real endorsement... also he doesn't know what a youkai is, so he'll just ignore that.]

More or less. And at least you know exactly what a bat can do to you. With this, we can't even be sure the criminals they expose weren't compelled to commit the crimes in the first place.

Huh.

[This time, it isn't the sarcastic, easy tone of someone discussing the obvious. He's sort of surprised. He hadn't even thought of that...]

Yeah, I...guess not. God, that could get real fucked up real fast.

It's why I'm not ready to just assume they have good intentions. Since they're anonymous, they don't have any kind of accountability. Even aside from that, it's impossible to judge the character of someone you only know from the information they deliberately reveal. Hell, I'm a perfect example. Nobody sees what I'm like when I'm not thinking about the impression I'm making, so they think I'm some polite, picture perfect young adult who respects authority.

...Well, there is one person who knows a bit more than most, but even she doesn't know the kind of language I use when nobody's watching.

For what it's worth, the real you is way fucking less insufferable than that fake asshole, like holy shit.

[Akechi says some Questionable things sometimes, but he's clearly repressing a whole lot, so it's to be expected. Mav's eyebrow quirks up.]

Firesis, or the lady you got the hots for?

Probably because the Detective Prince personality is crafted to appeal to adults and authority figures. But...it is nice to know someone prefers the real me.

[He gives a huff that should say exactly what he thinks of adults and authority.]

My sister knows more than anyone back home, including about my mouth. The woman I like gets to see shit like my actual sense of humor, but I still try to be at least a little professional. We are coworkers, after all.

[Rude again!!! He's an adult.]

Guess acting juvenile doesn't exactly do you any favors when you're trying to get into an older chick's pants.

[Not by Japanese standards! And...he's turning red again.]

I already told you, she's too focused on her job for anyone to have a chance with her. But she is the closest thing I have to a friend back home, and I want to keep her respect.

And get into her pants.

[denying it is pointless]

[Now he's throwing his own pillow, even redder.]

I already know it's fucking hopeless! I'm lucky if I can get her to stop overworking herself long enough to eat a decent godsdamned meal!

[He will accept this pillow, putting it behind him to join his own and smugly sinking in. Nice...]

Didn't say nothing about that, did I? Just about what you wanted. But also holy fuck you are such a hypocrite.

Some people don't make a habit of thinking with their dicks, asshole. And trust me, I eat dinner way more often than she does, now that I'm not fucking broke.

Mmm. Mhm. And then means never having a dirty thought ever in your fucking life.

[stop being so full of shit all the time]

Just...shut the fuck up.

[He doesn't care that he doesn't have a pillow, he's laying down and pulling his blanket over his head.]

[Hm. Well. That was less fun than expected. After a pause, he crooks his finger at the younger Akechi to get him to come over to him. If he complies, Mav will hand him the pillow and mime throwing it at the older one. He has far more faith in the kid's aim than his, plus he can shrug it off as shifting the blame.]

[The kid complies, and the older version starts...but just grabs the pillow off of him and pulls it under the blanket to lay on.]

[Loudly:] Say goodnight, Gracie!

Goodnight, Gracie.

[He sounds kind of grumpy. Not the anger from earlier, closer to uncomfortable than angry.]

un: weaseling

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