un: ornithology

[hawkwardness]

Hey. I'm new here. My name's Tobias. I figured I'd introduce myself before I'm in the classroom, so that no one thinks they're going crazy. See, I'm a red-tailed hawk, not a human. So if you see a big bird with a pretty red tail indoors or flying around, keep in mind it might not be a normal animal.

That's all. Thanks.

[The end of the world is more than enough to worry about, he doesn't need to fight off fellow students! Let the boy get an education.]

Comments

Un:unbeatablesg

[partiallysquirrelblood]

Oh, hey! I'm Doreen.

Er, I don't want to make any assumptions about your dietary habits? But since red-tailed hawks generally do eat small rodents, could you not eat any of the squirrels here? They're my friends.

Also, they're pretty organized at this point. They'd probably end up making you regret trying.

[hawkwardness]

Are you serious? Organized?

[partiallysquirrelblood]

Yep! I can talk to squirrels and get them to help me out. Usually in exchange for nuts and help with defending themselves from predators.

[hawkwardness]

[OOOKAY THEN.]

Right. Predators like me. I'll leave the squirrels alone.

Any other weird wildlife that I should stay away from?

[partiallysquirrelblood]

Chipmunks, prairie dogs, and marmots. Although the marmots are the only ones you have to worry about here, since they're the only ones actually native to France.

[hawkwardness]

The mice and rats are still fair game, right? I don't want an army after me, but I have to eat.