un: likesflowers | late night thoughts about mortality with a ten year old

[alreadyhuman]

[ This post shows up at one of those 'no reasonable person should be awake at this time' hours, like 4 in the morning. ]

If you knew you were going to die

How would you feel? what are you meant to feel?

[ Vivi is not even remotely tech-savvy enough to know how to conceal his identity, so this is a great look into his mental state right now.

Which is to say: not good. ]

Comments

UN: Integreatest

[emergensirations]

I've died. In a way. Not the permanent way, but the way it feels with the body stopping.

It depends on the death itself. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it doesn't.

How I feel depends on how I felt before it too. I might feel scared or calm or something else. I think I feel alone most of all.

Someday I will die for good and that makes me want everything now to be as good as possible. I want to not feel alone when it happens for good. I do not know if that's possible however.

[alreadyhuman]

I think friends will help you feel not alone but it feels like a big sad thing to ask too. maybe its better for friends to be alone when you die. [ vivi no ]

i dont think i get more than one death though. i dont think its going to hurt but i dont think it hurting changes things does it?

[emergensirations]

Perhaps. I don't know. My friends die before I do. I make sure they are not alone but I can't ask if it's better then.

Sometimes hurting can be distracting. It can help you not think if your thoughts hurt more. But other kinds of hurting just make it worse. I think you have to figure out yourself.

[alreadyhuman]

Its so hard to figure things out myself though

I think so much and it hasnt helped. It just hurts more. I dont know how to feel and i wish i did. It would be easier that way.

[emergensirations]

I understand.

[That's a feeling they know.]

What do you feel right now?

[alreadyhuman]

sad

[ He knows that much for sure. Everything else is just a big tangle of feelings. ]

[emergensirations]

That does cover it enough, doesn't it?

[Why ask if you already know, they think, but in truth they'd hate such a thing turned against them.]