un: likesflowers | late night thoughts about mortality with a ten year old

[alreadyhuman]

[ This post shows up at one of those 'no reasonable person should be awake at this time' hours, like 4 in the morning. ]

If you knew you were going to die

How would you feel? what are you meant to feel?

[ Vivi is not even remotely tech-savvy enough to know how to conceal his identity, so this is a great look into his mental state right now.

Which is to say: not good. ]

Comments

un: SenzaLuce

[unlogic]

[There are some nights where Desi has trouble sleeping, still. This is one of those nights.]

I don't know. I think that maybe it would depend on why.

If I was going to die, if it was going to be because of something I chose to do, like let's say that I was trying to protect you or GV or Lia or Mona from something, then I think I would feel okay with it. If it was going to happen for less-good reasons then I'd feel pretty awful about it and want to find a way to stop it from happening because I don't want to leave my friends behind.

[alreadyhuman]

it feels better to die for some reasons more than others? i guess that makes sense too.

i guess nobody really knows even though dying happens so much. i dont know how to feel about that...

[unlogic]

I'm not sure if there's a definite right or wrong answer for any of this. If something did happen where I sacrificed myself to protect someone, I might be willing to accept what I'm doing, but I'd still be leaving everyone else behind and

you wouldn't want that would you

[alreadyhuman]

no! :( youre my friend and i dont want you to die so id be sad even if you thought it was ok

but youd be sad if i was sad, cos youd accepted it, so its difficult to know how to feel too

its easier when i can look at someone and they can tell me i think [ If someone cries and feels sad, it's easy to feel sad. If someone's happy, it's easy to feel happy. Things like that.

The only thing that seems to come of its own accord is anger. He knows the shape of it, the feeling of it, better than anything else.

He doesn't know why that is. Sometimes, he's almost afraid of it. ]