un: weaseling

[deuteranope]

anyone else missing a bunch of socks

I got a black one here someone might be wanting back

[for uh

reasons]

there a weird fucking gremlin thing that goes around taking socks in any myths? this is fucking ridiculous

Comments

[transfusionem]

Well...if it's really a gremlin taking your stuff, they might have some sort of property that allows them to slip in and out without being detected! Like, maybe they can change their shape, or something?

[deuteranope]

gremlins are liquid now until someone can prove that crap otherwise

I'll need a live specimen and totally unfuckingrelated, a blender

[transfusionem]

Isn't there a blender in the dorm kitchens? Yours should have one too, shouldn't it?

Though I feel like I probably shouldn't encourage whatever you're planning to do to that poor gremlin.

[deuteranope]

hypothetical bastard jacked my socks and possibly some other stuff

[transfusionem]

So the answer to that is a hypothetical smoothie?

[deuteranope]

duh

[transfusionem]

What'll you do after?

[deuteranope]

submit my findings on the liquid properties of gremlins and become a beloved fucking member of the scientific community of magical bullshit

[transfusionem]

And here I thought you were just gonna drink it.

cw emeto mention

[deuteranope]

I think I fucking just threw up in my mouth

[transfusionem]

You're the one liquefying poor gremlins! You can't blame that on me!

[deuteranope]

liquefying gremlins is one of the careers this place fucking pushes you know that right

[transfusionem]

That wasn't a part of the brochure.

[deuteranope]

bright hope of a happy future here at daybreak, learn to kill shit kids you're off to war

[transfusionem]

Yeah, none of that mentions liquefying gremlins! That's not much of a selling point.

Though I guess liquefying is killing something...

[deuteranope]

not gonna fucking lie will it blend: monster edition is too fucked up even for an asshole like me I'm just mad they're getting in

[transfusionem]

That's a relief.

Maybe there's something you can use as a repellent? Kind of like how you can use mint to keep bugs away. There's gotta be something for gremlins, too.

[deuteranope]

gotta be cat-friendly. I guess ricktoria's other dad fucking left us so I'm a single father now

[transfusionem]

Oh no! I hope Ricktoria is okay. But I'm sure you can find something that works!

[deuteranope]

she's usually with me the back end of the month so I don't think it's really sunk in for her

[transfusionem]

Poor thing. Make sure to give her lots of love!!

[deuteranope]

what kinda shit dad do you think I am here

[transfusionem]

Some fathers, even good ones, struggle with emotional intimacy.

[deuteranope]

[the fact that a hot wave of embarrassment and fear washes over him when he reads "emotional intimacy".............y-yeah.]

meh I never really had one so I wouldn't know

well that's a lie I did but I don't know shit about him or nothing

[transfusionem]

[This isn't a call out post, Mav. Calm down.]

Most people do have dads of some sort, I guess.

And I guess that means you're already a better father than he was? Cat father.