un: wellcooked

[transfusionem]

So I think we have punching pretty well taken care of, but does anyone have advice on how to buy a decent sword?


Asides from just like, go to the market and find one.

Comments

[ohgoodgrief]

Oh, this was my father. He made a lot of money in investments and stuff. He turned around and bought a lot of art.

Anyways, long story short, that art was all counterfeit. It was kind of hilarious, in retrospect?

[transfusionem]

Oh, wow. That's really embarrassing.

Definitely makes it seem like a lesson to be learned, though.

[ohgoodgrief]

It was definitely a shocker when I talked to the appraiser.

But yes: avoid art dealers at all costs. Don't follow in my footsteps!

[transfusionem]

RIP.

I'll take your advice to heart, then. No art dealers! Only real swords here!

[ohgoodgrief]

That's the way! Unfortunately, I don't know much about real swords.

I understand they should be sharp, though.

[transfusionem]

Being pointy is pretty important too, I think.

Sharp, pointy, and that's about all I've got.

[ohgoodgrief]

I think we have a solid basis for a cutting and stabbing implement.

[transfusionem]

Except for the part where either of us know where to get one, yeah, we're on the right track.

[ohgoodgrief]

..........eBay?

[transfusionem]

eBay would probably just be a bunch of really, really shitty swords.

[ohgoodgrief]

I can't even argue... you could probably get an embarrassing replica of a popular video game character's weapon but not something useful...

[transfusionem]

I mean that has the use of looking really cool, but it probably wouldn't work against a daemon.

Unless the daemon was really weak to symbolism.

[ohgoodgrief]

There was the Valley of the Kings Incident in 1994, so... some are?

[transfusionem]

I have no idea what that is.

[She was not even close to existing in 1994.]

[ohgoodgrief]

I read about it after I learned about... well... all of this stuff existing.

Some archaeologists, including a Daybreak professor, found a tomb in Egypt. They went inside and found not only hieroglyphs, but runes from Outland. When they went in a little deeper, they activated some kind of magical ward.

And a sarcophagus made of obsidian lifted off the ground and started floating towards them. Anyone that it got near fell over, unconscious. They tried guns and spells, but nothing even scratched it.

Have a guess what finally stopped it.

[transfusionem]

Oh man. That's absolutely crazy!

I don't think I'd stop to think of going to a sword, honestly. Fuck that.

[Can she say fuck that to a teacher...]

her "favorite" teacher

[ohgoodgrief]

[He's okay with this.]

It wasn't a sword. But someone did try. They fell asleep when they got close.

Finally, the last person who wasn't knocked out just started throwing everything in their bag at it. A grenade, a knife, their wallet. And then, what finally stopped it: a bottle of cold medicine.

It hit, and the sarcophagus just fell down. And the reason, dear Adelaide, is...

NyQuil stops the coffin.

not anymore

[transfusionem]

[...

...

Adelaide needs a moment.]

I don't know if I should be mad I fell for this or mad that you told this joke in the first place.

[ohgoodgrief]

The tragedy is that this is my greatest accomplishment and no one's going to put it in a biography about me.

[transfusionem]

Yeah that's pretty tragic. It's a shame it'll just end up forgotten like it deserves to be.

[ohgoodgrief]

Ahahaha.

Sorry, sorry.

[transfusionem]

I don't believe you're sorry for a second.

[ohgoodgrief]

Very perceptive! I'm not.

[transfusionem]

Yeah, I get the impression you're not sorry very often.

[ohgoodgrief]

Hmm. Not about my sense of humor.