un: weaseling

[deuteranope]

alright now that I got your fucking attention

does anyone actually fucking play cricket like what the fuck why are there so many fucking books on this dumbass sport?

the bat is a cross between a boating oar and a sex toy

not at all ideal for knocking over mailboxes in a satisfying fucking manner

not that baseball's that fucking great either tbh like all sports are kind of shit change my mind

don't suppose any of you have ever read a book on crickets the fucking bug not the fucking bat and ball game

that isn't like

the very quiet cricket?

god fucking knows cricket ain't quiet

ps Imelda is the enemy by design only. poor woman has to deal with so fucking much as this fucking floor's RA we're a plethora of asses so go easy on her when it comes to the rebellion ok?

#FREETHEBEATS #BUTDON’TCAUSETREBLE

Comments

[suddenlybees]

Are you really finding a book club book??
On crickets????

[deuteranope]

I gave you the fucking chance to change it and you didn’t

anyway it’s not just about crickets because if it’s just fucking about crickets it’s boring as FUCK

[suddenlybees]

Hey, I bet there's a great book out there all about crickets!
Don't diss something you haven't read yet!
You're the one in charge of the club!
We're all counting on you to read all these books and make sure they're good ones!!

[deuteranope]

uh huh

it’s called Never Home Alone by Rob Dunn because otherwise it’s about breeding feeder crickets and nah

[suddenlybees]

You don't think that'd be useful?
It'd be nice if the next batch of crickets could live longer than two hours.

[deuteranope]

I’m gonna fucking tattle so I don’t have to fucking go through that shit again

[suddenlybees]

Don't tattle!!
Don't you want to be cool????!?!?

[deuteranope]

I’m comfortable settling for annoying as fuck instead

[suddenlybees]

That's not annoying!
That's called being a traitor!
Backstabber!!
We wouldn't be friends anymore!!!

[deuteranope]

free of crickets, free of cricket, huh...

anyway it’s not fair because next to you no one is as annoying you’re really cramping my fucking style

[suddenlybees]

Don't give into temptation...!!
And that's such a rude thing to say, you know!
I'm trying my best to be friendly!!
At least acknowledge my efforts!!!

[deuteranope]

yeah yeah

don’t worry cricket you’re growing on me

must be how mama felt

[suddenlybees]

Your Mama was stuck with you though?
I'll try that too!
I'll make it so you'll never be rid of me, and so you'll have no choice but to relent!

[deuteranope]

ha

know what might’ve made it easier on her?

the year I didn’t fucking talk

[suddenlybees]

Impossible!
That sounds impossible to do!!
I couldn't do it!!!
How did you do it!!?!

[deuteranope]

[horrible trauma that never actually got addressed]

I was a weird fucking kid

definitely couldn’t do it now even out of spite and I’m a spiteful fucker sometimes

[suddenlybees]

LOL
You're still a weird fucking kid

[deuteranope]

I’m a legal adult I’m an old fucking man

get off my lawn

[suddenlybees]

Nyeh nyeh
I'll pee on your lawn and you can't stop me, old man

[deuteranope]

gross

and puppy is already puppy so you wouldn't earn a new nickname with that

[suddenlybees]

You're the cricket expert:
Do crickets pee?

[deuteranope]

I hate that I know enough to say probably fucking not most bugs don't

[suddenlybees]

He~h, how weird!
Do crickets poop?

[deuteranope]

same answer

well I guess it fucking depends on if you wanna split hairs like bugs eliminate waste it's just different

this is not what my genius should be used for btw

[suddenlybees]

What's your genius used for if not random cricket facts??
I'm relying on you for this sort of information, Mav!!