irisnetwork | un: weaseling (limited access)

To: < epicyon >, < g.akechi >, < greendolphin >,
< i.rivera >, < jojo2 >, < ollin >, < princely >,
< tealeaf22 >, < wellcooked >, < xspire >

[List is more for OOC purposes. ICly, the other usernames are unavailable to the recipients and this should be treated as private, individual messages rather than a group conversation.]

ATTENTION MOTHERS AND FUCKERS
congrats if you're fucking seeing this because it means that you are on an exclusive list of individuals I went out of my fucking way to invite to fake thanksgiving. this is an event hosted at the inn of atropos, otherwise known as mama's kickass inn, and usually it's just open to guests actually fucking paying for rooms there but we're changing shit up this year. lucky you! you've been deemed worthy by the most desirable of opinions (mine) to attend on november 28 dinner's at 6pm which is late yeah but worth the wait and we got some night based guests where this is basically a super early breakfast so quit your bitching

Q: What is "fake" Thanksgiving?
a: we don't do that shit over here but mama is super into it and american so shut the fuck up, it's a thing and has been for years
forget actual thanksgiving bullshit we all about the delicious food mama makes and appreciating peeps or whatever
we all need a fucking break this month okay

Q: Where's the Inn of Atropos at?
a: [insert address here]

Q: Free food?
a: free fucking food bitch

Q: Free drinks?
a: I was sorta including that in with the food but yeah jeez whatever

Q: Why are you so fucking handsome?
a: scholars have been scratching their heads over this for years and while they can't find an answer it's still widely accepted as truth
aw shucks, scholars

Q: Should I bring anything?
a: nah man we good

Q: Do I get a +1?
a: do I look like a fucking bouncer I don't give a shit just keep it reasonable

Q: I'm confused about why I'm on this list.
a: that ain't a fucking question

Q: Okay, well why --
a: because shut the fuck up you just are dumbass, take the fucking win

Q: You already told me about this.
a: again, not a fucking question but for the sake of time: I know, but I'm telling other people now too and shut up this is easier for me to keep track of

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE

oh also rsvp or not I don't fucking care
depends how HELPFUL you wanna be

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Thanks for the invite! This sounds fun, Mijo!

I'll just assume no one minds me skipping the meals and hogging the bottles. And thanks for the late time, that helps too. Imelda and I will be there for sure! I figure you've invited her already.

you won't be the only one not eating there I'm p sure it's cool dude
and nah I fucking invited your sorry ass but not her perfect one
NO GIRLS ALLOWED
dumbass

Haha, hey now, I didn't doubt!
I assumed you invited her first even.
What kind of terrible party would that even be without her?

Kind of surprised to hear I'm not alone there but that is pretty cool.
You know, I don't think I've really got to personally meet all your friends before.

the fucking worst

well you ARE a grandpa and super fucking embarrassing of course I only bring you out of the shame box for the holidays

[...]

I invited akechi so don't be weird when you see him

Wow, that sure sounds a whole lot like elder abuse!
I'm going to talk about the good old days as loud as possible, just for that.
Champ.

I'm not going to be weird like that though. I've never even met the kid, got no idea what he looks like. And if he introduces himself, whatever! No big deal. I'll shake his hand and move along.

ugh I just had a chill go down my spine
my healthy youthful spine

good
he's getting help too so I think everything will be okay

Be careful or I'll start pulling out the "buckaroo"s.
No one wants that.

I'm glad to hear that. Genuinely.

Are you going to be okay with him there?

better than whippersnapper or godforfuckingbid ~millennial~ used as an insult
ain't even fucking accurate

I think so
we've been talking some and shit feels normal and good

Millennial? I don't know if I've heard that one.
It sounds familiar.
Well, whippersnapper, you're going to have to get me caught up with the lingo there.

But that's great! Even better then. You need an escape route you can call me over as an excuse however you like but it sounds like things are going to work just fine.