un: weaseling (limited access)

[deuteranope]

To: < epicyon >, < g.akechi >, < greendolphin >,
< i.rivera >, < jojo2 >, < ollin >, < princely >,
< tealeaf22 >, < wellcooked >, < xspire >

[List is more for OOC purposes. ICly, the other usernames are unavailable to the recipients and this should be treated as private, individual messages rather than a group conversation.]

ATTENTION MOTHERS AND FUCKERS
congrats if you're fucking seeing this because it means that you are on an exclusive list of individuals I went out of my fucking way to invite to fake thanksgiving. this is an event hosted at the inn of atropos, otherwise known as mama's kickass inn, and usually it's just open to guests actually fucking paying for rooms there but we're changing shit up this year. lucky you! you've been deemed worthy by the most desirable of opinions (mine) to attend on november 28 dinner's at 6pm which is late yeah but worth the wait and we got some night based guests where this is basically a super early breakfast so quit your bitching

Q: What is "fake" Thanksgiving?
a: we don't do that shit over here but mama is super into it and american so shut the fuck up, it's a thing and has been for years
forget actual thanksgiving bullshit we all about the delicious food mama makes and appreciating peeps or whatever
we all need a fucking break this month okay

Q: Where's the Inn of Atropos at?
a: [insert address here]

Q: Free food?
a: free fucking food bitch

Q: Free drinks?
a: I was sorta including that in with the food but yeah jeez whatever

Q: Why are you so fucking handsome?
a: scholars have been scratching their heads over this for years and while they can't find an answer it's still widely accepted as truth
aw shucks, scholars

Q: Should I bring anything?
a: nah man we good

Q: Do I get a +1?
a: do I look like a fucking bouncer I don't give a shit just keep it reasonable

Q: I'm confused about why I'm on this list.
a: that ain't a fucking question

Q: Okay, well why --
a: because shut the fuck up you just are dumbass, take the fucking win

Q: You already told me about this.
a: again, not a fucking question but for the sake of time: I know, but I'm telling other people now too and shut up this is easier for me to keep track of

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE

oh also rsvp or not I don't fucking care
depends how HELPFUL you wanna be

Comments

UN: GreenDolphin

[strings_theory]

You already know I'll fuckin' be there will bells on, bitch. Also bringing the bat with me whether he wants to go or not. (Pretty sure he'll want to.)

[deuteranope]

damn well better be coming I even invited his batty ass

[strings_theory]

He's coming either damn way, he might have forgotten that I can easily throw him in a damn purse or Tupperware container.

[foolishjustice]

Like I said before, I'll be looking forward to it.

I'm still just barely better than shit at cooking, but if you're looking for people to make themselves helpful, I wouldn't mind working on setting the table or lending a hand with dishes.

[deuteranope]

we got staff for that man
your job's to show up and shoot the shit
(conversationally of course not with guns, bows, or crossbows)

[foolishjustice]

If you're sure.
I'm kind of excited, I've never eaten turkey before.
(I figured. Marksmanship seems a bit out of theme.)

UN: JOJO2

[standless]

Falseness aside, just what is 'Thanksgiving'?

I feel like I may have heard of it in passing, but not in any detail. (It does sound like it will be a wonderful event already however, so I am happy to attend!)

[deuteranope]

oh right you're old as balls

long long ago some fuckers came over to america to get away from some other fuckers but they didn't have enough food because they sucked at shit idk
anyway the natives took pity on them and shared their food etc etc
holiday's about giving thanks and ignoring how white people fucking STOLE AND DESTROYED native lands and culture in exchange for this help

[standless]

I suppose that is certainly a way to describe it? [why does all of this slang exist]

Erm.

I can certainly see why you would prefer a false equivalent then?

For all that giving thanks would certainly be worthy of a holiday, hiding a matter of theft and destruction is certainly not...

[The sheer irony of this coming from a victorian upperclass man...]

[prince_type]

[Ohhhh, guess who's excited.]

An... American tradition, huh.

Though I haven't seen your mom in so long!!!!

[deuteranope]

like I said, that's her original home turf
but you're right mama is most definitely the best part of the equation and 100% the thing to be looking forward to

[prince_type]

I can't quite say I'm surprised by that, I think I vaguely remember it being mentioned in passing.

Considering it's a holiday that we... don't tend to do anything with both in France and in Japan? I certainly have all the time in the world and I certainly won't complain about free food, especially if she's involved.

[He does remember some things, dammit.]

UN: Ollin

[unpocoloco]

Thanks for the invite! This sounds fun, Mijo!

I'll just assume no one minds me skipping the meals and hogging the bottles. And thanks for the late time, that helps too. Imelda and I will be there for sure! I figure you've invited her already.

[deuteranope]

you won't be the only one not eating there I'm p sure it's cool dude
and nah I fucking invited your sorry ass but not her perfect one
NO GIRLS ALLOWED
dumbass

[unpocoloco]

Haha, hey now, I didn't doubt!
I assumed you invited her first even.
What kind of terrible party would that even be without her?

Kind of surprised to hear I'm not alone there but that is pretty cool.
You know, I don't think I've really got to personally meet all your friends before.

un: wellcooked

[transfusionem]

Are you sure? I mean, I'm more than happy to come, but, you know. I don't know if you'd rather have...space.

[deuteranope]

you're one of my favorite people you're fucking invited

UN: tealeaf22

[bolderfell]

Got a lot of people coming so far?

[deuteranope]

no one in their right mind could resist an invite from such a stunning pair like mama and I

un: xspire

[synthsized]

Of course I'm coming.

And I have good news! Dad hooked me up with something that passes for tastebuds so I'll be able to taste the food!

[It will still all be immediately disintegrated but they'll be able to taste it and that's all that matters.]

[deuteranope]

fuck yeah!! that's great
mama's cooking is the fucking best it'll def be worth it

un: i.rivera

[no_dejare_de_quererte]

I'd be happy to join you and Ramona (and the rest of your guest list) for a meal. I assume you've already invited Héctor, and my plus one is unneeded?

[deuteranope]

hey your +1 could be pepita
but yeah dude's on my list why you think it ain't an earlier dinner

UN: Epicyon

[heromedal]

I want to be clear I'm not being sarcastic when I say this, I'm genuinely very confused-

I thought you hated me. Is this some sort of trap?

[ Yes, Rex actually thought Mav hated him and has thought this since the van incident. He's just so used to the idea of being hated he feels way more comfortable talking about that then talking about being liked. ]

[deuteranope]

you are so fucking stupid
YOU are the one that hated ME you dick
this is my attempt to extend a fucking olive branch