irisnetwork | un: weaseling (limited access)

To: < epicyon >, < g.akechi >, < greendolphin >,
< i.rivera >, < jojo2 >, < ollin >, < princely >,
< tealeaf22 >, < wellcooked >, < xspire >

[List is more for OOC purposes. ICly, the other usernames are unavailable to the recipients and this should be treated as private, individual messages rather than a group conversation.]

ATTENTION MOTHERS AND FUCKERS
congrats if you're fucking seeing this because it means that you are on an exclusive list of individuals I went out of my fucking way to invite to fake thanksgiving. this is an event hosted at the inn of atropos, otherwise known as mama's kickass inn, and usually it's just open to guests actually fucking paying for rooms there but we're changing shit up this year. lucky you! you've been deemed worthy by the most desirable of opinions (mine) to attend on november 28 dinner's at 6pm which is late yeah but worth the wait and we got some night based guests where this is basically a super early breakfast so quit your bitching

Q: What is "fake" Thanksgiving?
a: we don't do that shit over here but mama is super into it and american so shut the fuck up, it's a thing and has been for years
forget actual thanksgiving bullshit we all about the delicious food mama makes and appreciating peeps or whatever
we all need a fucking break this month okay

Q: Where's the Inn of Atropos at?
a: [insert address here]

Q: Free food?
a: free fucking food bitch

Q: Free drinks?
a: I was sorta including that in with the food but yeah jeez whatever

Q: Why are you so fucking handsome?
a: scholars have been scratching their heads over this for years and while they can't find an answer it's still widely accepted as truth
aw shucks, scholars

Q: Should I bring anything?
a: nah man we good

Q: Do I get a +1?
a: do I look like a fucking bouncer I don't give a shit just keep it reasonable

Q: I'm confused about why I'm on this list.
a: that ain't a fucking question

Q: Okay, well why --
a: because shut the fuck up you just are dumbass, take the fucking win

Q: You already told me about this.
a: again, not a fucking question but for the sake of time: I know, but I'm telling other people now too and shut up this is easier for me to keep track of

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE

oh also rsvp or not I don't fucking care
depends how HELPFUL you wanna be

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

nah trust me

[In fact, it's one of the main reasons he's living there now! Hahahahaha...]

a wee bab
widdle baboo
tiny tot

I really have no other choice.

[Which is honestly fair, he doesn't mind his actual name for obvious reasons, but mage family bullshit tends to get around.]

Stooooop. You're not even that much older than me!!!!

this fucking insult
my life experience makes my extra three fucking years an eternity in comparison to your piddly shit sixteen

What life experience?

[That wasn't meant to be rude, but that probably came off as rude. Tamaki, no, Tamaki text is horrible for you.]

I get laid for one

[W H Y.]

Somehow, somehow I should have known you were going to say that.

don't take it too hard man you got an innocent widdle baby bwain

~~That's not true.~~ ~~What are you~~

UGH.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

yeah you'll get there some day, baby rené
no need to rush

S t o p.

I'm perfectly content where I am.

[Kinda, sorta, maybe.]

thaaat's the spirit!

Also I haven't had any time to really think about such things here, since, you know, everything kind of seems to be on fire the second I get here.

yeah it sure fucking does
I'd say you get used to it but nah
you just get exhausted and stop wanting to fucking deal with it

So it's just always consistently on fire? Goodness and here I was told this was supposed to be a prestigious magical school and not a school that's on fire.

How do you even get used to this?

hey lots of mages specialize in fire

search me dude
just avoid as much of it as you fucking can

Sadly not me.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely have been. How useful would I actually be in any of this? Not at all, unless we're talking about some undercover or distraction related nonsense. Even then I tend to stick out like a sore thumb most places.

yeah you should probably work on not being such a flamboyant fuck in the event you gotta be on an infiltration team

R u d e.

Also fairly sure being six feet tall, blond, and with violet eyes doesn't help me blend in to anything ever.

you literally fucking specialize in illusions

Haven't quite gotten them to a point where they work properly on myself...

You more get weird uncanny valley when I do that right now. Especially if I have to move.