Maverick | Bitch Ricky Marten-Taylor (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deuteranope) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
irisnetwork2019-11-24 08:14 pm
deuteranope) wrote in irisnetwork2019-11-24 08:14 pm
Entry tags:
un: weaseling (limited access)
To: < epicyon >, < g.akechi >, < greendolphin >,
< i.rivera >, < jojo2 >, < ollin >, < princely >,
< tealeaf22 >, < wellcooked >, < xspire >
[List is more for OOC purposes. ICly, the other usernames are unavailable to the recipients and this should be treated as private, individual messages rather than a group conversation.]
ATTENTION MOTHERS AND FUCKERS
congrats if you're fucking seeing this because it means that you are on an exclusive list of individuals I went out of my fucking way to invite to fake thanksgiving. this is an event hosted at the inn of atropos, otherwise known as mama's kickass inn, and usually it's just open to guests actually fucking paying for rooms there but we're changing shit up this year. lucky you! you've been deemed worthy by the most desirable of opinions (mine) to attend on november 28 dinner's at 6pm which is late yeah but worth the wait and we got some night based guests where this is basically a super early breakfast so quit your bitching
Q: What is "fake" Thanksgiving?
a: we don't do that shit over here but mama is super into it and american so shut the fuck up, it's a thing and has been for years
forget actual thanksgiving bullshit we all about the delicious food mama makes and appreciating peeps or whatever
we all need a fucking break this month okay
Q: Where's the Inn of Atropos at?
a: [insert address here]
Q: Free food?
a: free fucking food bitch
Q: Free drinks?
a: I was sorta including that in with the food but yeah jeez whatever
Q: Why are you so fucking handsome?
a: scholars have been scratching their heads over this for years and while they can't find an answer it's still widely accepted as truth
aw shucks, scholars
Q: Should I bring anything?
a: nah man we good
Q: Do I get a +1?
a: do I look like a fucking bouncer I don't give a shit just keep it reasonable
Q: I'm confused about why I'm on this list.
a: that ain't a fucking question
Q: Okay, well why --
a: because shut the fuck up you just are dumbass, take the fucking win
Q: You already told me about this.
a: again, not a fucking question but for the sake of time: I know, but I'm telling other people now too and shut up this is easier for me to keep track of
BE THERE OR BE SQUARE
oh also rsvp or not I don't fucking care
depends how HELPFUL you wanna be
< i.rivera >, < jojo2 >, < ollin >, < princely >,
< tealeaf22 >, < wellcooked >, < xspire >
[List is more for OOC purposes. ICly, the other usernames are unavailable to the recipients and this should be treated as private, individual messages rather than a group conversation.]
ATTENTION MOTHERS AND FUCKERS
congrats if you're fucking seeing this because it means that you are on an exclusive list of individuals I went out of my fucking way to invite to fake thanksgiving. this is an event hosted at the inn of atropos, otherwise known as mama's kickass inn, and usually it's just open to guests actually fucking paying for rooms there but we're changing shit up this year. lucky you! you've been deemed worthy by the most desirable of opinions (mine) to attend on november 28 dinner's at 6pm which is late yeah but worth the wait and we got some night based guests where this is basically a super early breakfast so quit your bitching
Q: What is "fake" Thanksgiving?
a: we don't do that shit over here but mama is super into it and american so shut the fuck up, it's a thing and has been for years
forget actual thanksgiving bullshit we all about the delicious food mama makes and appreciating peeps or whatever
we all need a fucking break this month okay
Q: Where's the Inn of Atropos at?
a: [insert address here]
Q: Free food?
a: free fucking food bitch
Q: Free drinks?
a: I was sorta including that in with the food but yeah jeez whatever
Q: Why are you so fucking handsome?
a: scholars have been scratching their heads over this for years and while they can't find an answer it's still widely accepted as truth
aw shucks, scholars
Q: Should I bring anything?
a: nah man we good
Q: Do I get a +1?
a: do I look like a fucking bouncer I don't give a shit just keep it reasonable
Q: I'm confused about why I'm on this list.
a: that ain't a fucking question
Q: Okay, well why --
a: because shut the fuck up you just are dumbass, take the fucking win
Q: You already told me about this.
a: again, not a fucking question but for the sake of time: I know, but I'm telling other people now too and shut up this is easier for me to keep track of
BE THERE OR BE SQUARE
oh also rsvp or not I don't fucking care
depends how HELPFUL you wanna be
no subject
[He'd sort of been hoping this persecution complex would lessen when the paranoia did, but he supposed he can't expect a complete switch to healthy thinking. Wasn't like he always thought the healthiest things, either, even if he...wants to try more, now. People think he's worth something, might as well give them what they want when it doesn't hurt him. Just makes them happy.]
You can be pissed at someone without wanting 'em to suffer. And if you keep trying to be the normal you wanna be, I think people will want that, too. Just, you know, don't forget your part in this or expect everything to fucking be okay once the king's knocked down. Pawns do shit, too. Not like fucking chess, though, this shit ain't black and white.
no subject
[He tugs at a plastic coil bracelet around one wrist, idly curling it around his finger.]
Hurting them to protect myself, when whose safety is more important should've been fucking obvious.
[Even his mother hadn't wanted him to be born, after all. How can someone who never should've existed, who's only ever caused suffering for the people he loves, say that protecting his own life is worth hurting people who actually contribute something positive to the world?]
I'll be surprised if they don't hate me.
no subject
They can hate you and believe you at the same time. Weird shit fucking happens -- I mean, is it really that fucking different than a daemon Contract? [More importantly...] You have the same fucking value as everyone else does, dipshit. There's no more or less important, not...really. Shit just... Life's fucking crazy!
no subject
[He sighs and slips the bracelet off his wrist to tangle both hands in it.]
Besides, even my own mother saw me as a fucking curse. And I know being close to me was hurting you...who the hell would think someone who keeps making the people he loves suffer has the same value as someone who contributes something positive to the world?
So, I don't think it's worth really getting my hopes up for enough people being willing to understand for me to be able to get on with my life.
no subject
Because they're not fucking sociopaths?
[PLEASE...REALIZE THAT NOT EVERYTHING IS AN EXTREME
-- and. Oh. That was a little... It distracts him from what he all wants to say, which is a lot. How funny that one little word can make his stomach twist uncomfortably and make his mind slow down.
No. Rally. There are so, so many reasons not to linger on it.]
We...chose to suffer with you. Me n' your mom. You can't really fucking expect me to accept she didn't wanna fucking stay with you when your name literally fucking calls you out as her goddamn son. What would really make you an asshole would be forcing me to...stay, once I hit my limit. Or, you know, killing me. Then you'd definitely be evil, and shit. But you don't... Just because they're gonna react bad doesn't mean it's the fucking end of you.
no subject
[He never really thought about the characters he uses to write it, but...that sure is what they mean, isn't it? She...chose to suffer with him. Maybe she did hit her limit too, but had she really wanted to stay? Come to think of it, he does have memories of her doing things like saving up so she could buy him a toy he wanted, even taking time to play with him even though she'd had a rough day. Even though they were all rough days.
He feels his eyes starting to water, and quickly blinks to keep the tears from building up enough to fall. Why is it hard to not cry now, of all times? Now, when he also wants to smile?]
I never...realized what my name actually means, before. I've written the kanji so many times, it was just muscle memory by the time I learned what they stand for. I think I...really needed to hear that.
[He rubs at his eyes with a muttered 'fuck', then takes a couple deep breaths to try to get his emotions under control. He hasn't cried in years, why is it so hard to keep the tears back now?]
But even if that's the case, I sure as fuck wouldn't want Shido to be happy. Do you really think they'll feel any differently about me?
no subject
You can't seriously think it's the same fucking thing. He ruined your life even before all this bullshit! What he did to your mom... And he doesn't fucking care? But you wanna change things. People are gonna see that, even if they hate what you did. You're a real fucking dumbass...
no subject
[He goes back to toying with his bracelet, stretching the coils out close to their full length.]
None of the people who gave me a reason to be pissed at them gave a shit about fixing it. Not unless it was a PR move.
no subject
[fuck authority, etc. etc. but okay for real now]
I spent my youth wrecking shit and running drugs for piece of shit friends, and plenty of folks in Soleil remember that. Still fucking like me well enough, don't they? Regular-ass, sane people give people chances.
no subject
[He slides the bracelet back onto his wrist and takes a breath.]
But you might be right. A couple more people recently...got the full story. One of them saw my nightmares during that dream shit and asked questions last month, and another...the asshole me from the mirror spilled it, probably because he was pissed I had more time to get people to give a shit than he did. Apparently he got caught early on and got ran off campus.
They want to help. The one who met the asshole mirror me even said she thought the difference was that he got caught, while I...stopped on my own.
no subject
She's got the right idea, whoever she is. Like... You seriously don't fucking see how different the circumstances are? You're nothing like that asshole.
no subject
Especially the ones who don't get a turn at knocking his fucking teeth out.
no subject
[Trusted him for a bunch of other shit. What's one more, Akechi?]
no subject
no subject
No shit, man... [Mav's made some mistakes, but he tries to always steer others in the right direction, at least.] God, you look like you fucking need a nap, though. You ain't gonna pass out on your way back, huh?
no subject
[But ugh, why do you have to remind him of how drowsy he is. He yawns, then rubs a hand over his face.]
This medicine, I fucking swear. It makes me wanna sleep all day, and that's without the shit for anxiety. That part's supposed to be temporary, though.
no subject
You sure it ain't just catching up on all that other sleep you fucking missed out on?
no subject
And having a new roommate doesn't help. You remember how much I hate sharing living space with strangers.
no subject
Oh. They got someone in there already, huh? What're they like? Obviously not as fucking great as me, but. You know.
no subject
[Huff huff. Yeah, the room felt empty when it was just him, but that didn't mean he wanted a stranger in there?]
It's a little kid. He's kind of...unnerving, honestly. I haven't talked to him much, what with all the shit I've been going through, but he's got a blank look whenever I see him.
no subject
Soooo kinda like me when I was six.
no subject
[Yaaaaawn.]
Fuck if I've got the energy to ask him about it right now. Especially since I'm working on figuring out how I want to handle Shido, now that I'm not...doing it alone.
no subject
[They're all fucked up, here.]
It's probably good to stay focused on the goal, though. The rest of that'll go along with trying to be normal, or some shit.