un: ohnomorespiders

[made_up_names]

okay so

some kind anon made me look really cool on the network the other day
so i have to set the record straight
that flippy thing is surrounded by a whole bunch of me being the least cool dude on the planet so here it is

"Spider-Man's VLOG 1080p" (Watch on YouTube)

[ The video is pretty much exactly as-is, except it cuts off right before Tony Stark shows up at the end (and skips the end part in the car entirely). Also the other superheroes have clear AU versions of their powers. Rune-powered suits, Candle enhancements, etc. ]

im not technically allowed to share this probably
but also: what are they even gonna do about it

btw if you havent met me yet, my names peter parker
and i live at aube (mostly)

ETA: oh yeah im uploading this now because i broke my phone the other day and almost lost it
so now it will live forever on the network instead
youre welcome

Comments

[deuteranope]

right? like I said, piece of shit but an honest piece of shit

also if happy ever visits you here lemme know

[made_up_names]

why
are you gonna mess with him

[deuteranope]

oh puppy that just sounds like something a piece of shit would do

[so: yes]

[made_up_names]

glad were on the same page then

[ Peter will help, of course. ]

[deuteranope]

[Hell Yeah.]

not fucking related in the least, what's the aube (mostly) shit about

[made_up_names]

oh i just spend a lot of time at lum
like a LOT

[made_up_names]

sadly no
i lost it on a mission

[made_up_names]

can do

[deuteranope]

oh

I mean no shit I fucking noticed but you made it sound

idk weird

[playitagain]

Oh no!

Maybe we could have a new one made for you?

[unpocoloco]

Peter, that doesn't help.

[He can see the kid's trying to make this easier but if anything it's making this all worse. Especially not talking about what would've killed him otherwise.]

You're a teenage boy, and faced with all that. Of course you were going to agree. I know you're a hero, that this is what you do, but that doesn't make them right.

Where even is that suit now?

[Because he definitely should have seen it before.]

[made_up_names]

[ Gee, it's like he died under their watch anyway.

Peter winces a bit, rubbing at the back of his neck. Momentarily distracted from trying to explain the Avengers by that question. ]

I don't know. It got torn up really badly on the fight with Thanos - I think I lost it.

[ Or, y'know, it was disintegrated along with Peter. ]

[made_up_names]

what
im allowed
imelda doesnt even hate me as much any more

[made_up_names]

that would be super cool? im not a great tailor tho

[playitagain]

I'm not either but I'm in Theater Club.

We have connections!

[made_up_names]

seriously?

[deuteranope]

I don't feel like being mad at you right this fucking second so we're gonna change the subject

[Imelda was so sad when she came back!!!! It was terrible, and it made Mav want to punch Peter, honestly, no matter how amusing and adorable he finds him.]

bracelet works great and I think he likes it, so thanks I guess. should be able to pay the rest after this weekend

[made_up_names]

what
what did i say

[ He definitely made Imelda incredibly sad, and hurt her terribly. He also groveled as hard as he possibly could. And she broke his phone so. That's something, anyway. ]

okay cool sure
no rush

[playitagain]

I think we can ask around! I can't make any promises, especially if it has any special technology in it.

But I can ask?

[unpocoloco]

[He really should've guessed that. May had told him there wasn't much left of the kid, how much would there even be of that stupid suit? The image of ashes in his mind is leaving him ill as he thinks, silent.]

You're getting a new one. Not literally a new one of that, but you need something. I want you studying every possible self-protective rune there is, every spell, every enchanted piece of armor, everything before you go rushing back into this. I don't want another scratch on you if a bomb goes off, do you understand me?

And I know you won't listen, but I'm going to say it; if you were going to able to keep one single secret, Peter, it shouldn't have been the one from your family. Tía May shouldn't have ever been the excuse for you to get hurt.

[He can't even imagine how hearing something like that would make her feel.]

[deuteranope]

doesn't matter we're changing the subject

puppy for real someday I'm gonna teach you to put the screws to folks

[made_up_names]

uh
im bad at that

[made_up_names]

that would be awesome
i mean i can handle the tech part?
its just the sewing i need help with

[deuteranope]

that's why I'm gonna help you, you stupid fuck

[made_up_names]

[ Sorry, Héctor. At least his discomfort gets Peter to listen more than he normally would. He sort of jolts at that, not expecting that response. ]

You're not going to tell me to stop?

[ Sorry, he'll loop back to the subject of telling May, he swears. But this first. ]