[text] UN: mekakushisan

[suddenlybees]

[ posted some time mid-day on the 6th, because after nearly killing a person, almost dying himself isn't enough of divine retribution, he's also got to see the miserable child that he used to be walking around campus and he wants none of that. there can only be one. ]


Hello, hello~!!
It's Kano~
I'm here with an !!!URGENT!!! job offer for interested parties!
What I'm looking for is hunters and exorcists and the like~
No experience necessary!!!
Willingness is key!!!!!!
Please leave your resume and rates below~


[ He needs somebody who wouldn't mind killing a human child, essentially. For those who suspect something's up, or want an action thread instead of a text one, Kano makes it pretty obvious what he needs destroyed: anybody happening upon Lumière 303 can't miss the sound of muffled screaming and pounding of what sounds like a child who has been locked up in a closet, because this is obviously how you deal with seeing a kid version of yourself, you kidnap them and throw them in the closet and remove the doorknob to your bedroom so nobody can get inside. ]

Comments

[panpiping]

I TAKE IT BACK BE NICE TO HIM DO I NOT KNOW WHAT A METAPHOR IS I THOUGHT FOR SURE

[suddenlybees]

A metaphor is like...
When you use the word like!
Anyways!!!!
This is me being nice to him!
I could do so much worse, you know??????

[panpiping]

... You know what! I don't think YOU understand metaphor OR being nice!

[suddenlybees]

I know better than you, probably!!
You thought this whole kid thing was being nice, didn't you????
What would you rather me do with the punk?

[panpiping]

You don't know that for sure!! Let him out! Let him eat pancakes! The kind with the fruit and lots of syrup!!!

[suddenlybees]

Gross.

[panpiping]

Your face is gross!!! HA! Take that! I bet you didn't know I knew about that tactic!

[suddenlybees]

LOL
Oh my god
You've been hanging out with these kids all this time, huh?
How great!
I can tell~

[panpiping]

I wish.

[suddenlybees]

Do you want to?
There's probably some extra room in my closet.

[panpiping]

I'm staying out of tiny boxes and Poe would be lonely but thank you for offering.

[suddenlybees]

He~h
Who's Poe?
If you get the kiddo to curl up, there's plenty of room for three.

[panpiping]

Poe is my friend! And a powerful fey like me! If you free the child, I'll let you talk to him!

[suddenlybees]

I'll free him for five minutes, then he's going back to baby jail~

[panpiping]

He's not a baby!! If he needs to go to jail make it much much bigger!!

[suddenlybees]

Take it up to the school admins to get me a larger closet, then~

[panpiping]

I don't know how to do that!!!! I can't even get you to help him when he didn't do anything! How am I supposed to make this ...school admins THING listen?!

[suddenlybees]

You're a super powerful fey with soul splitting time hopping magic, aren't you??????
You could threaten to bring their kidlets out and lock them up in a closet?

[panpiping]

You want me to LIE? I don't do that.

[suddenlybees]

No way, you don't lie?
How do I know that's not a lie?

[panpiping]

Hmmm... You don't! But big big lies like saying I'll put people in closets... That kinda thing hurts too much! I definitely couldn't lie like that.

[suddenlybees]

Hmmmmm~
I don't want you to hurt, so how about this!
You tell them that if they don't get me a larger closet, you'll bring out the kidlets and I'll lock them up in my closet!!

[panpiping]

I'd much rather just turn you into a lizard...

[suddenlybees]

Poor kid would never get out of the closet at this rate...
What do you think?
Will he starve first?
Or maybe he'll run out of air?

[panpiping]

Do you hate him or do you just hate me?