posted at like 2am. un: supersenses

[infestedcouncilpresident]

Hey Ive got an open question for you all: Why do you go on the super optional death missions?

Ive been on them too because...Nightfall is everyones problem and since I can do some stuff normal people cant I kind of felt like I had to? But I never signed up to be a soldier I signed up to be a student. I got all this training to be a human blender and I got this cool daemon horn sword but

I hate knowing how to kill people and I hate that I know what it feels like to be stabbed

I dunno maybe I want to see if Im just being selfish. Might delete this in the morning

Comments

un: Galanthusnivalis

[buddinghopes]

Restlessness, I guess? I mean, I did some stuff on a smaller scale back home anyway so the missions here seem like a logical step up. So I feel like I should be keeping that up here even if I'm not part of that group in NYC anymore.

But, like, I grew up around this sort of stuff. My dad's a hunter and my mom's a mage. I knew about magic since I could comprehend things.

I don't think it's selfish to hate knowing these things though. Some people just want to be as normal as possible, and... well, this stuff sucks, we all know that. Not sure anyone sane/normal WANTS to know how to kill people or what it feels like to be stabbed.

Ah... that got really rambly... so tl;dr not selfish just as normal as this place can get I think

un: ornithology

[hawkwardness]

[Who has no thumbs, also can't sleep, and plenty of reason to be a little bitter after everything?]

I don't know if it's selfish or not, I'm just going to answer your first question. I'm not here because I'm some selfless hero type. I mean, it bothers me this might be the end of everything, but 'the end of everything' includes me and my whole species too.

[...But he'd go on fighting anyway, if given an out, he thinks. Maybe he's more selfless than he'd admit to.]

[nor_iron_bars]

[Strictly speaking, the Daybreak official school network doesn't have any anonymous posting options. Which is why Kohaku doesn't get this reply on the network.]

[Instead, some anonymous number belonging to a throwaway phone texts her this. The subject line is just "Your Post".]

You're not selfish.
I've had a lot of time to get used to this sort of thing. When I was your age, no one told me I could walk away.
But I could, and you can.
And that's okay.
Or you can keep doing this, and that's okay too.
The headmistress talks a lot about destinies, but the truth is there's no chosen ones.
You just choose.

[Jailbreak hesitates for a long time before hitting send.]

[It doesn't sound anything like her, and that's sort of the point. This isn't from Jailbreak, but maybe it's from Jasmine, just a little. Jasmine would have never had the confidence to say something like this, even to herself, but it's the kind of thing that might have helped her to know.]

[And if it doesn't... well.]

[This phone is going in the garbage pretty soon anyway. After all, unlike Jasmine, Jailbreak is very good at avoiding consequences.]

[infestedcouncilpresident]

Nah I get you. When I was a little kid Id watch shows about being magical heroes and desperately wish I could be like that. But I dont think I ever seriously believed in magic and daemons and candles and all that shit until they fell in my lap and now I want to go back

[infestedcouncilpresident]

I mean yeah obviously the end of the world is bad news. But its all so BIG. Will it really make a difference if I, personally, keep my head down?

[buddinghopes]

That's totally fair. You're well within your rights to go "this isn't what I signed up for" and just be a student, I think.

If I'd grown up not knowing until I got thrown into this mess, I'd be the same way about all this.

[infestedcouncilpresident]

Who is this?

[It's a simple question that looks flippant, but she definitely read it, and she's definitely thinking about it. She COULD just walk away. She knows how to control her powers, now. She could just go back to Japan and transfer to a NORMAL goddamn school and never worry about any of it again.

So why hasn't she?

She tells herself she doesn't know.]

[nor_iron_bars]

Let's just say "someone who made some choices" and leave it at that.

un: likesflowers

[alreadyhuman]

i do them because i have powers and i can help, so i want to! if i can stop people from getting hurt i will

but i dont think its bad to not want to either (｡•́︿•̀｡) its tough and sad and not everyones okay with it. i dont think they have to be?

one of my friends got hurt recently after a mission and it was really bad. i dunno if hes woken up yet. im gonna visit him later

i think its okay not to be okay with stuff like that

un: xx_heartoffire_xx

[stavros]

I know we technically have a choice. But if no one chose to fight, all would perish. And if I didn't volunteer regularly, I would fail to live up to what I endeavour to be.

[infestedcouncilpresident]

I thought everyone would be quoting spiderman at me. All that great responsibility shit

[infestedcouncilpresident]

Everyone makes choices

[infestedcouncilpresident]

Its like on one hand the world is in danger but on the other its so big nothing I do feels like itll make a real difference

Wait who got hurt?

[buddinghopes]

Meh

Comics were wrong, I think. I don't really think it's a matter of responsibility (not everyone with powers is going to be cut out for the whole superhero thing, for instance), just... I don't know. Being a decent person, I guess. Not using those abilities to hurt someone. That's how I see it at least

idk maybe I'm just prattling on about stuff you already know but it's 2 am my brain isn't firing on all cylinders at 2 am

[infestedcouncilpresident]

Im not saying EVERYONE should stop because its dangerous but Im worried some people are making themselves do it when its really fucking them up

[alreadyhuman]

everything we do does something though...otherwise we wouldnt be doing them in the first place!!

gv did (｡•́︿•̀｡) i dunno what happened though since the mission went okay, it was after.

[hawkwardness]

[Will it? Does any single person make a difference here? Are things that much on the edge?

He doesn't know. One can only hope not.]

It's your choice. You're not a bad person to be tired of all this. Unless we're both bad people, me and you.

[stavros]

Perhaps so. With all that's been happening as of late... You lived as a civilian before all this. Of course it would be harder on you, too. If you need to rest, we shall continue in your stead.

[infestedcouncilpresident]

Oh shit what happened to him?

[Noooo GV was cool.]

[infestedcouncilpresident]

Sure. Thanks

[This is what she JUST SAID she wanted so why doesn't it feel like it?]

[bolderfell]

[Like others who shall not be named, Therion doesn't want to answer this publicly. Instead, when he passes Kohaku's desk on the way out of that math class he has with her, a folded note lands silently in front of her.]

To answer your question from last night:

Got backed into a corner and I took a bad deal. Now I just do what I have to to survive. In my case, that means going on those "missions." Doesn't seem to in yours.

[He doesn't stop to see if she reads it, just slinks right on out the door. If she wants to catch up to him, she will.]

[alreadyhuman]

he got shot

hes hurt really badly so the infirmary staff said he wont wake up for a little bit cause his body needs to recover. something like that

[stavros]

There are many who would agree with you. Most Candles were civilians, too. Perhaps I can't understand it myself, but that kind of adjustment is a harsh one.

[nor_iron_bars]

And everyone's still making choices, too.
That's another important thing: you aren't trapped one way or another.
If you decide to stay, you don't have to do this forever.
And if you decide to leave, you can still come back.

[infestedcouncilpresident]

[A pickpocket's worst enemy is someone who sees the whole world in slow motion and can hear your heartbeat. She noticed, read the note, then ran to catch up with the guy who OBVIOUSLY had dropped the note.

She kind of fell into step next to him and handed the note back.]

Hey...