irisnetwork | un: weaseling

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un: weaseling

so bumble got me thinking
well first of all maverick's the "cafe" run by (you fucking guessed it) maverick (that's me) will still be just inside the lum dorms for weekdays even though there'll be fucking cameras around I guess

no more popsicles since that one asshole took off and won't answer his fucking phone but there's plenty of hot chocolate, temp tattoos, and bumble has so graciously agreed to provide cookies on occasion.
the tats are kinda in limited supply but hey that's what markers are for
and if you want someone educating on tattoos, it's gotta be me I'm great
all this cafe shit is supposed to be for rounding up loose kids but if you need a sugar rush I ain't gonna stop you
unless like...it sounds super fucking funny at the time

anyway second of all, the part she actually got me thinking about
I checked with Mama and she said the camera crew is staying somewhere else so her base has space

if you need some time (like a couple days) minus a kiddo or they just can't fucking be around during that tv shit because they look or act like a freak show
reserve a room at INN OF ATROPOS
weirdo-friendly, respects your privacy, nice as shit, food's kickass, the manager's a total babe, you get the idea
normally she'd super fucking frown on just dumping a kid at her doors but she gets this shit is kinda a weird circumstance

also let it be known I will literally bash your fucking head in if you fuck up Mama's inn, whether that you is big or little just saying

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[Maverick hums as he sinks himself into the mattress again, getting nice and cozy.]

Mm, then you should wait. If you're gonna get it, you gotta get it done right. You should start saving now, though, maybe you can come with when I get my tongue done.

It'll be easier here than back in Japan, at least. Tokyo rent is expensive as hell, and food wasn't exactly cheap, either. Most of my income was going to expenses I don't have to worry about here.

Vive la France, or whatever.

[Vive la Daybreak, more like, but it's harder to be sarcastic when something isn't already a phrase.]

So what're you thinking? Lobe? Helix? Lay it on me.

The lobe heals faster, right? I should probably start with one that's easier to take care of.

Yeah, about a month or two. Tongue's faster, but with how much you fucking talk sometimes, not exactly lowkey.

[After a pause, his stupid crooked grin is back.]

Now, you want something with a fast healing time and something people won't fucking catch you with by chance? Princess needs a prince albert.

A...what?

[Look, his sex life is nonexistent, he wouldn't be looking these things up even if he did know he'd some day get a chance to get something pierced.]

[That's okay, Akechi, Maverick's got your back. And easy access to your phone, still, so here we go on over to google to look at some dicks with metal in them. Enjoy that being in your search history.]

[As soon as he sees what's on the phone, he turns bright red all the way up to his ears and chokes. He looks away, covering his face with one hand.]

I-I said I didn't want to spend money on something nobody's ever going to see!

[He cackles, because of course he does, and rests the phone screen-down on his stomach. Okay, okay, the dick is gone, now. Relax.]

Damn, dude, dunking on yourself before I even get the fucking chance. Hard for that to affect your precious public image, though, gotta admit.

[The younger Akechi looks up in curiosity, but the older one shakes his head violently no.]

The only people who show interest in me are just fans of that public image. I'm not going to date someone who only knows the fake me, and even beyond that...that's not exactly something you should show off early in a relationship!

[He gives an amused hum.]

On the other hand, you get around to showing it off to someone, obviously you trust 'em enough to like the real you, don't you? It's like an all new level of appreciation~

I...really doubt that's going to happen. The only person I've seriously considered asking out is married to her job. And she's six years older than me, anyway, so I'm probably too young for her on top of it.

[Mental note that Akechi is, in fact, attracted to women, then. Good to know.]

Married to the job is way fucking better than being married, but yeah, she sounds waaay outta your fucking league.

And my prospects otherwise are real fucking slim, considering Japanese women are taught to steer clear of people like the real me.

[hmmmm]

Like that's your only fucking option, or none of 'em got brains? Fuck's sake.

[Actually, yeah, laying here isn't much fun anymore, he's just carelessly toss the phone at Akechi's stomach instead and move back to his bed to -- wait. Fuck. Ricky has his laptop. Dammit.]

If they do, they turn them off whenever they're around a celebrity. It's useful when I want to convince people to let me bend rules, but a pain in the ass when I want to actually talk to someone.

Mm-hm. God forbid there be a human out there that wants to know what you're actually like and listens.

[You know. Like that thing he was just doing. He doesn't have feelings for Akechi like that, but he's still kicking himself and getting annoyed over it. This guy...was so fucking frustrating and singleminded sometimes.]

I...am very grateful I have someone I can actually act like myself around for a fucking change. But that doesn't do anything about the fact that I don't have a chance in hell of getting a girlfriend.

Not that I expect I'd have much time for romance, anyway. I barely had tiem for myself before I transferred here.

Mmm-hm.

[Aha, here's his phone. Now he can be happily distracted and look at least somewhat purposeful again.]

Noted. Good to know that people like you don't have a chance in hell at love. Thank you so much for shitting on me further.

...I don't know what it's like in other countries. You might have a better chance than me, unless I do manage to get a work Visa and the money to actually fly to a different continent on my own.

[Plus, he's pretty sure Mav has more time. But he can't let anyone know of the threats looming over his head beyond Nightfall.]

Whatever, man.

[Not a big deal!!! Not like he has a fragile self-esteem, or is currently going through really weird trust issues concerning relationships because his only non-mom friend vanished without a word, or anything! Just suuuuper busy on his phone.]

Look, I'm fucking sorry.

[He flops down, staring at the ceiling.]

You have more going for you, anyway. At least you've got the guts to act how you want.

[ughhh, he said whatever! nobody lets him whatever them...]

And wow, nobody hath smote me from this bitch of an earth yet, despite that fact and all my fucking flaws. Alert the presses -- oh wait, they're already on their way.

Don't remind me. This was supposed to be a break from shit like that.

[He dramatically flops his arm over his face to cover his eyes.]

You're lucky, though. You have a parent who's both alive and not shit.

[He rolls his eyes. Like, he gets it, but. The drama. This is why you're princess, princess.]

Yeah, I am. I'm really fucking lucky, she's a cool lady. Turns out that when all sorts of people treat you like you're garbage, you're willing to look past the fact that the kid you found was literally in a fucking dumpster when it comes time to decide how you're gonna be treating him, so I got to dodge that shit.

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