un: astrophenominal

[tsuns]

heyyyyyyyyyyy

what does a guy have 2 do to get a welcome back gift basket around here??????? i was gone 1 1/2 months and there aint a welcoming committee smh

best to just get it over with but i've been away on some..........................werewolf business lmao...................but i'm back, gotta graduate i guesssssss

some questions:

1. what did i miss???????
2. please tell me i missed some big tests b/c that means i should automatically get a 100 % that's the rule i saw it in the handbook
3. i also expect a late birthday party which means i am owed 2 (TWO!) gift baskets
4. how the fuck is my cat doing??????????? ricky rickymartin rickyweaseljr
5. i got a switch for my birthday and someone better play splatoon with me asap
6. who tf is my new roommate

Comments

[deuteranope]

I ain't but it's easier on my wallet

[tsuns]

wow what a cheapskate!! are you always so stingy?? ridiculous!

my absence should be deserving of at least a little $$$$$$$$$

[deuteranope]

maybe fucking send child support next time

[tsuns]

wow!!!!!!!!!!! ill take ricktoria for 1 1/2 months and we can be even

maybe not a month and a half all at once but extra days i will make up for it! haaaaaahh

then you won't have to worry about being so broke and you can get me a truly respectable gift basket

[deuteranope]

you ain't taking my daughter away dream on

[tsuns]

uh did you forget she is also my daughter

did u become too broke to pay attention to how i picked her up from the animal shelter and officially named her such a glorious name

????

[deuteranope]

uh fuck you I named her??

[tsuns]

i put it on everything like her paperwork and stuff

i could have said fuck u her name is snowball or something dumb

[deuteranope]

and if you did she would definitely like her new stepdad more

[tsuns]

she would not

i'm gonna come over to see her in like 5 minutes u better let me in or the custody battle begins

[deuteranope]

if you say so

good luck I know a kickass lawyer

[tsuns]

( Wow!!! He throws his phone at the wall, lawyers be damned.

Luckily, after his fucking off to another country, Kanata has been moved to the same dorm as Maverick which makes trekking there less arduous for him. Mav should still be in the same place...he did say he got a roommate, and he'd have no reason to move so. No regrets in banging on this door--

Wait, there is a regret. Kanata doesn't want to scare Ricktoria, who may be sleeping inside. Either way, loud bangs and shouting would potentially frighten her! He must make sure she is soothed and comfortable; both for his sake and as evidence in this cat custody fued.

Perhaps there's a way to both appease Ricktoria and get that cat-lover Maverick to open the door. He bends down, getting on his stomach so his mouth is level with the bottom of the door. With one hand, Kanata scratches the wood very gently. Mew, mew, mew. They may not be the best cat noises, but maybe they'll be good enough to get Bitch Ricky to come investigate. )

[deuteranope]

[Standing nearby and waiting, ready for a knock, is Maverick, cradling their cat in his arms and smirking to himself. It changes into an outright cackle when he gets some sorry attempt at a cat instead. Kano or Adelaide you are not, good sir...but he'll still open the door, pushing Ricktoria up and onto his shoulder for her to wobble.

And surprise! Ricktoria perks up when she catches sight of Kanata, because she might not be a magic cat or the brightest cat, but she knows. That's her dad!]

[tsuns]

( !!! Baby girl, they are reunited!

Kanata flushes with embarrassment at the door opening -- like what else did you think would happen, wise guy -- and has a hard time recovering. His hand hangs in the air with his eyes wide, quickly trying to get his not-very-fast mind to go into overdrive in order to find a way to not look like he's lame, on the floor and mewling.

Too bad, because that's all very much what it looks like!! )

Do you mind? ( Kanata finally weakly gets out after clearing his throat. ) I'm tryin' to communicate with my cat. A private conversation, at that.

[deuteranope]

[If only there was time to step on Kanata when he's like that... Truly, the humiliation would be complete. Oh well. Just seeing this not-quite-groveling is good enough for him.]

Sorry, cat daddy, but until I can see you've shaped up, these courts have ordered supervised visits.

[tsuns]

( Step on him and see what happens, bitch. )

What kind of shapin' up do I need to do? I'm about the same shape I was when I left! I didn't eat more than usual! It's the same shape, same shape!

( Does he actually think that's some sort of sizist dig? Who knows, it might be in his brain to truly think so. He pathetically gets to his feet, only slightly winded. ) I wanna...see the court paperwork. I've got the adoption papers, so I've got the upper hand here!

[deuteranope]

[god, either way, what a moron... Mav's missed him.]

Just get in here, numbnuts. Quit screeching our business in the halls, you look like a fucking lunatic.

[Come hold your daughterrrr.]

[tsuns]

( Good, it's better to be embarrassing around two people and a cat instead of a whole hallway and a cat. He slinks inside, quickly taking Ricktoria in the same motion. She flops onto his shoulder, head pressed into it. Hello, other!dad. So many dads, so many pets to be given. )

You better not be serious about this B.S. ( Though it's said in a soft voice, one hand cradling his cat and the other scratching her head with a lazy finger. She feels very comforting...it would have been nice to have had her back home. ) Or else I'm really gonna screech.

[deuteranope]

[He snickers to himself as he walks backwards to plop down on his bed, watching Kanata in fond amusement.]

I'm just giving you shit. Except for the part here I'm not buying you three fucking gifts on account of I'm not fucking made of money. It didn't take you long to get here -- where you at now?

[foolishjustice]

[Akechi has moved from sitting on Mav's bed to his own, legs dangling over the ladder of the loft. He's covering a snicker with one hand when Kanata walks in, but pauses that to give him an appraising look.]

So, you're the cat's other caretaker?

[tsuns]

( Kanata doesn't give a single fuck about anyone's legs or beds because he's too busy looking at the most beautiful creature on Earth. )

Ehhh, I'll negotiate down to two-and-a-half gifts. No less, final offer.

( -- Actually, that thing about not caring about legs is a lie. There is an unfamiliar pair of legs in this room and they must be investigate. Kanata turns to Akechi while he boosts Ricktoria up onto his shoulder, a hand absentmindedly rubbing the fur along her spine. )

Yeah. You're the new roommate, huh? ( The look he offers him is one of narrow-eyed appraisal. ) What're your intentions with my daughter, here?

[deuteranope]

[Maverick rolls his eyes, then glances back towards Akechi with a smirk. Give him hell, "stepdad"...but he's gotta take care of this gift business. He gets back on his feet, disappearing into the bathroom for a second, then comes out with fancy birthday cake-scented candle in a decorative tin. At one point, it was a hefty thing, but by this point it's over half gone from use.]

Here you are. The half gift.

[foolishjustice]

I am.

[He crosses his legs and leans forward to rest his arms against his top knee.]

I'm Goro Akechi. No need to worry about Ricky-chan, I've been helping take good care of her...as long as you don't mind her being a little bit spoiled. I think the better question is how much I should trust her to someone who was just on the floor catcalling.

[Wait, what is that you've got, Mav?]

Aww...I guess I'm going to have to go get a new one. I liked having a candle by the tub.

[tsuns]

( Kanata grabs the candle with his free hand, more excited than he should be. His face falls as he sees the burnt wick and crumbling wax around the edges. Ick...but he smells it anyway, eyes darting to Akechi.

This guy sure is an upstart. He finds him irritating from the jump. )

A little smug for being the newer person here, huh? Don't worry about your candle. I'm refusing it. ( Kanata sets the candle on top of Mav's head, look on his face totally unimpressed. ) Bzzt. Try again.

[deuteranope]

[Mav grimaces at “Ricky-chan”, grumbling a quick “don’t fucking call her that...” It was too weird, especially after Ricky himself had been around for a visit not long ago. No more Rickys!! Just abolish the name!]

Fucking rude. I got that for you in the first place, man. Not my fault you fucking bailed before I could deliver it. Anyway, princess is a fucking detective, of course he’s smug.