un: weaseling

[deuteranope]

Note/textbook highlighting/ease of reading
€10-15

Editing/proofreading
€15-20

Tutoring: french, eng, maths, science
cost depends on grade and if they're fucking annoying

Coffee delivery
cost of drink/food + €5

Tattoo design
depends what it is but they can just go to a real fucking artist if I don't cut the cost

Catsitting
€10/hr maybe just cat glamour shots

Fistfight
do this shit for free

Drinking buddy
pay for my drinks tbh

Healing??
no fuck charging for that

and tell them all to get me shit for bday

[when you accidentally post instead of saving a draft]

Comments

[unpocoloco]

MAVERICK!

YOUR BIRTHDAY IS ON DÍA DE MUERTOS! THE DAY OF THE DEAD!

YOU'LL HAVE TO JOIN IMELDA AND I IN THE EVENING, WE CAN CELEBRATE BOTH!

[deuteranope]

[...................]

petition to change birthday

[unpocoloco]

Oh, come on! It's a good day! It's going to be tons of fun. It's not spooky or anything like this Halloween stuff.

I was going to invite you anyway. Now we can make sure there's some cake and things. Stuff for you!

Also, we were born in the same month. Another reason to stick with the best month.

[deuteranope]

we'll see
won't that be kinda fucked up?

I was born in march, nov's just my bday

[unpocoloco]

Okay well still. Our birthdays are in the same month and that counts. We're bookending it with good things.

Anyway, it's not that messed up. Plenty of people have birthdays alongside other holidays. And besides that, Día de Muertos is about family. Honoring memories and all of that. They might be dead but it's still their lives and memories that we're celebrating. To celebrate your life too doesn't clash at all, and you're already family to us both.

[deuteranope]

[screeches, you're killing him, héc]

fine fine shut up jeez

[unpocoloco]

[That's practically a yes!]

It's going to be a great time, Maverick! Just you wait!

In the meantime, Imelda's going to want to know your favorite food, if you haven't told her yet.

[deuteranope]

oh my god mama's already gonna be making too much to eat tell her to not fucking bother

[unpocoloco]

You want me to tell Imelda not to make you something for your birthday. You're loco, chamaco. And I would be too to suggest it! You'll just have to deal with leftovers. Or maybe request that she make something different than what your Mamá would make you.

[deuteranope]

why do you think I wanted to send you to relay the message
fucking hell...I'm just one man

tell you what, mama can make my food and tía can make baked goods for mama
that will make everyone happy

[unpocoloco]

She may just accept that deal.
She may still make you something anyway.
Even on top of how much is already going to be done for Día de Muertos.
But I will put in the word! No one will be able to say I didn't try.

[deuteranope]

these women fucking put us to shame esqueletío...not that you needed help with that

anyway I’ll be sure “he tried” makes it into your eulogy

[unpocoloco]

Ay, gracias, I'm so honored you thought of me in the wake of my demise. Now, I too can be part of the Día de Muertos festivities.

[As if he wasn't...]

But what shame could I have to perish in the arms of my love, the most wonderful woman in the world?

[He should have shame.]

[deuteranope]

[...]

I wouldn't wanna do that
fucking scar em for life

[He's half-goofing, half-serious.]

[unpocoloco]

[It's a good shot to his mood, his heart sinking as he thinks about it. He can't keep up the game at all after that. It would leave a mark, there's no doubt about it. He and Imelda have died together before.

But even still, his answer...]

You're a better man than me, Maverick. Though we knew that.

I think I just might be too selfish. I'd hate to die alone.

[deuteranope]

course we did

[Mm... Dying alone is scary if he thinks about it too long, but at the same time it doesn't feel all that different. He already holds everyone further away than he had to -- he survived alone, he lived alone... He'll die alone. All he can do is put it off as long as possible.]

to be fair you deserve to die old and wrinkly in a bed with sixteen grandkids crawling all over you while the adults weep

[unpocoloco]

Ay, ay, don't make me cry now, saying such wonderful things as that. Sixteen grandkids! That's sixteen hugs every few minutes! And to grow old with my love, even better. We can get greys together and take turns being unable to read what's in front of us. And rocking chairs, we'd need those.

[It'll never happen. Even if something were to be fixed, he can't see it. Maybe he can't let himself hope so far.]

You'd be old too wouldn't you be? First one to go bald loses.

[deuteranope]

excuse the fuck outta you I've got luscious locks you stupid bastard I'm in this for LIFE

[unpocoloco]

Bet you my hair's better.

[It might be. Thanks Arsenic!]

[deuteranope]

fuck off, only cuz you ain't a redhead if that ends up the case

[unpocoloco]

HAH! Well fine, you can win for now with having a cool color, but when you go grey there will be no mercy.

[deuteranope]

ugh why would you want to be a ginger...fucking weirdo

[unpocoloco]

I didn't say I wanted to be, I said the color looked cool. But ay, no, can you imagine how bad that would look on me?

[deuteranope]

what a nightmare
thank god I don't tan when I fucking have to be out in the sun...

[unpocoloco]

Entirely orange. Scarier than any outlands creature.