un: weaseling (limited access)

[deuteranope]

To: < epicyon >, < g.akechi >, < greendolphin >,
< i.rivera >, < jojo2 >, < ollin >, < princely >,
< tealeaf22 >, < wellcooked >, < xspire >

[List is more for OOC purposes. ICly, the other usernames are unavailable to the recipients and this should be treated as private, individual messages rather than a group conversation.]

ATTENTION MOTHERS AND FUCKERS
congrats if you're fucking seeing this because it means that you are on an exclusive list of individuals I went out of my fucking way to invite to fake thanksgiving. this is an event hosted at the inn of atropos, otherwise known as mama's kickass inn, and usually it's just open to guests actually fucking paying for rooms there but we're changing shit up this year. lucky you! you've been deemed worthy by the most desirable of opinions (mine) to attend on november 28 dinner's at 6pm which is late yeah but worth the wait and we got some night based guests where this is basically a super early breakfast so quit your bitching

Q: What is "fake" Thanksgiving?
a: we don't do that shit over here but mama is super into it and american so shut the fuck up, it's a thing and has been for years
forget actual thanksgiving bullshit we all about the delicious food mama makes and appreciating peeps or whatever
we all need a fucking break this month okay

Q: Where's the Inn of Atropos at?
a: [insert address here]

Q: Free food?
a: free fucking food bitch

Q: Free drinks?
a: I was sorta including that in with the food but yeah jeez whatever

Q: Why are you so fucking handsome?
a: scholars have been scratching their heads over this for years and while they can't find an answer it's still widely accepted as truth
aw shucks, scholars

Q: Should I bring anything?
a: nah man we good

Q: Do I get a +1?
a: do I look like a fucking bouncer I don't give a shit just keep it reasonable

Q: I'm confused about why I'm on this list.
a: that ain't a fucking question

Q: Okay, well why --
a: because shut the fuck up you just are dumbass, take the fucking win

Q: You already told me about this.
a: again, not a fucking question but for the sake of time: I know, but I'm telling other people now too and shut up this is easier for me to keep track of

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE

oh also rsvp or not I don't fucking care
depends how HELPFUL you wanna be

Comments

[foolishjustice]

Glad I knew better than to feed you shit that'd make you puke more, then.

I just wish I could be sure of who wouldn't mind be being a rude asshole, and who'd get on my ass about it.
Aside from just looking at who's willing to be friends with you, anyway.

[deuteranope]

"willing to" fucking RUDE
but my friends are a good place to start I got great friends
though...
I mean there's other shit they wouldn't be so keen on even if they're cool with dickheads

[foolishjustice]

Are you saying being friends with you doesn't take a high tolerance for rude assholery?
I know the other shit is a real problem, though.
But I'm working on it. And really, I owe you for that.
Fuck, I probably owe you for being able to make it to the doctor, even if I didn't have the guts to ask you to come along.
The fact that I had my turn puking them out after you were done notwithstanding.

[deuteranope]

I'm saying my friendship is a blessing people should be begging me for

[Ah... What are these complicated, conflicting feelings...]

I didn't do nothing man you did that
and it's fucking great and I'm happy for you don't you fucking dare get me wrong but

I dunno this might be a better convo to have in person

[thanks for making him paranoid about internet safety]

[foolishjustice]

I'm free this evening if you want to meet up somewhere.
Just don't take it personally if I look sleepy as shit, it's a side effect of the medicine.

[deuteranope]

depends how evening your evening is I work tonight but I'm free for a while

[foolishjustice]

I don't take any morning classes, because honestly, fuck any schedule that starts too early for me to get to a cafe and back first.
So evening can be pretty evening.

[deuteranope]

ughhhh
smart but inconvenient for this shit
and I'll be running the bar or else I'd just fucking say to drop on by and we can talk then
I mean it's a chill scene but it's still a bar you know?

[foolishjustice]

Not really the kind of place for a private conversation.
But you said you're free for a while, right?
I also don't take weekend classes, just because fuck that.
I like having two days in a row to rest after making myself focus on lectures.
Speaking of which, I guess I know why that's so hard now.

[deuteranope]

oh yeah, huh

but yeah I can be free rn

[foolishjustice]

Where should I meet you?

[deuteranope]

I’m at the inn but I can move if I gotta

[foolishjustice]

Do you think it'd be a good place to talk?

[deuteranope]

for sure we’re a good establishment over here

[foolishjustice]

Then I'll see you there.

[Soon enough, he walks into the inn in jeans and a hooded jacket. When he pulls his hood down, his hair is a couple inches longer than it was at the start of the semester. He looks...a bit drowsy, but an attentive eye might notice he's using less makeup to hide the dark circles.]

[deuteranope]

[Mav's at a healthy distance for someone who he's not in a relationship with anymore, so he mostly sees the weary look. It's...good, though? It's more honest and relaxed, and he can get behind that. Seems much healthier than the Akechi he knew, tired or not.]

Come on -- we can talk in my room.

[He gestures up the stairs, indicating for Akechi to follow him, and when he gets to the room he's made his, he moves to sit on the edge of the bed and offers a weak, awkward smile.]

...Hey. You don't look like complete shit. That's good.

[foolishjustice]

[He takes off his jacket when they get to the room, and glances around for a good place to sit.]

The new medicine I started is making it easier to sleep. Dragging myself out of bed feels like a pain in the ass now, but I feel less like shit overall.

[deuteranope]

[There's no giant dick chair like he'd had at the dorm, but there's a small cross between a bureau and a desk that has a wooden chair there. It's not made for comfort, just convenience. Other than that, there's really just more bedspace.]

Tch. Like getting you out of bed wasn't already a fucking task if I didn't have fucking coffee in my hand ready for you.

[But...this wasn't really what he came here to talk about. He should stay on task instead of going down memory lane.]

It's...fucking weird, that shit feels normal. When I think about it, I know it shouldn't. A lot of shit happened.

[foolishjustice]

[He drapes his jacket over the back of the chair, then sits down in it. He takes a moment to rub at his face, then shoves his hair aside. His cartilage piercings have healed up nicely, and he has a new pair of helix earrings in them.]

It's been a long time since my life was 'normal'. But I get what you mean, it almost feels like it did before I got orders to start stirring shit up.

[He lets out a tired laugh, though it doesn't quite reach his eyes.]

I don't know what's going to happen after Shido's dealt with, but some part of me hopes things really can be...normal. I mean, 'normal' by the standards of a Candle. Living without this shit hanging over me, actually getting to live my own fucking life.

But I'll probably find out soon. Once I've shaken off this fatigue, I want to do something before Shido figures out I have backup.

[deuteranope]

[Oh -- piercings are always good. And so is Akechi being comfortable expressing himself. His eyes flick to them a moment, but he has to stay on topic, here. No chickening out like a punk bitch.]

That's fucking great. I mean, really, it is, I just... [Uhh, let's see. He picks his phone up to look over what started them on this conversation in the first place. Right.] People aren't gonna just forget how much you hurt them, even if it wasn't your decision. Yeah, it's that asshole's fault, but you can't just... You played a part, too. Getting them to forgive you ain't gonna be so easy, just because we ain't out here calling for jailtime or nothing.

Like, you know this shit's gonna have consequences even if you're trying to make it right, right?

[foolishjustice]

I know. I'll be lucky if they don't run me out of the fucking school.

[His hands tighten on his knees and he looks off to the side.]

I want to live a normal life, but I know it's...not going to happen. That ship has sailed.

[Something about that wording is apparently some kind of joke, because he gives a wry snort.]

But it's a nice hypothetical...getting my life back on track, maybe figuring out what I want to major in. Just, living the way I want to, without that asshole forcing me to betray the people I care about.

[deuteranope]

I dunno if that would happen...

[He'd sort of been hoping this persecution complex would lessen when the paranoia did, but he supposed he can't expect a complete switch to healthy thinking. Wasn't like he always thought the healthiest things, either, even if he...wants to try more, now. People think he's worth something, might as well give them what they want when it doesn't hurt him. Just makes them happy.]

You can be pissed at someone without wanting 'em to suffer. And if you keep trying to be the normal you wanna be, I think people will want that, too. Just, you know, don't forget your part in this or expect everything to fucking be okay once the king's knocked down. Pawns do shit, too. Not like fucking chess, though, this shit ain't black and white.

[foolishjustice]

I think 'pissed' will be an understatement. I mean...fuck, how can I even expect them to believe I'm not lying about having been forced? Not to mention...

[He tugs at a plastic coil bracelet around one wrist, idly curling it around his finger.]

Hurting them to protect myself, when whose safety is more important should've been fucking obvious.

[Even his mother hadn't wanted him to be born, after all. How can someone who never should've existed, who's only ever caused suffering for the people he loves, say that protecting his own life is worth hurting people who actually contribute something positive to the world?]

I'll be surprised if they don't hate me.

[deuteranope]

[The urge to throw a pillow at him is strong...but Maverick will resist.]

They can hate you and believe you at the same time. Weird shit fucking happens -- I mean, is it really that fucking different than a daemon Contract? [More importantly...] You have the same fucking value as everyone else does, dipshit. There's no more or less important, not...really. Shit just... Life's fucking crazy!

[foolishjustice]

And if they hate me, why would they want to let me have a chance to be happy? Even if they don't assume I'm an evil piece of shit and just biding my time.

[He sighs and slips the bracelet off his wrist to tangle both hands in it.]

Besides, even my own mother saw me as a fucking curse. And I know being close to me was hurting you...who the hell would think someone who keeps making the people he loves suffer has the same value as someone who contributes something positive to the world?

So, I don't think it's worth really getting my hopes up for enough people being willing to understand for me to be able to get on with my life.