un: weaseling

[deuteranope]

Note/textbook highlighting/ease of reading
€10-15

Editing/proofreading
€15-20

Tutoring: french, eng, maths, science
cost depends on grade and if they're fucking annoying

Coffee delivery
cost of drink/food + €5

Tattoo design
depends what it is but they can just go to a real fucking artist if I don't cut the cost

Catsitting
€10/hr maybe just cat glamour shots

Fistfight
do this shit for free

Drinking buddy
pay for my drinks tbh

Healing??
no fuck charging for that

and tell them all to get me shit for bday

[when you accidentally post instead of saving a draft]

Comments

[strings_theory]

You.

Are such.

A.

P r i c k.

[deuteranope]

you like it

[strings_theory]

How the fuck do you figure that?

[deuteranope]

well first of all who wouldn't

second of all you're still talking to me when I'm giving you nothing

for real florida woman I'll take whatever you get me don't get your panties in a twist about it

[strings_theory]

You know shit's gonna get real awkward when we inevitably get someone else from Florida around here, right?

Also, heads up, one of my fucking ancestors is here. Try not to run the poor bastard off, maybe?

[deuteranope]

you're the only true floridian in my heart

assuming it ain't your piece of shit dad then
what's up?

Private, because NO ONE NEEDS EMOTIONS

[strings_theory]

Aw, how sweet. And unflattering.

Nah, bastard's still out there doing who fucking knows what.

Surprisingly it's my great x3 grandfather? Like, the fucker died, and then evidently his spirit or whatever is in a goddamned bat now? Shit's weird, but he's deffo the asshat that started this cursed bullshit.

NOT THEM

[deuteranope]

[...........]

you're describing a fucking vampire

[strings_theory]

He's not a fucking vampire, jesus fuck.

Hilariously, a vampire did steal his body. But he's not an actual vampire, he's literally possessing the body of a bat. A fucking fruit bat.

[deuteranope]

"hilariously" fuck off with that
I'm pretty sure that's a vampire and you're dumb as fuck

[strings_theory]

Dude, the vampire stealing his body thing is literally something I was told from someone unrelated to him entirely. So, like, not a vampire.

Pretty sure vampires turn into vampire bats. HE'S A FUCKING FRUIT BAT, MAVERICK.

[deuteranope]

you think vampires fucking make sense instead of going out of their way to fucking be fucked up bastards FUCK YOU

[strings_theory]

Oh my god. THERE'S LITERALLY A HISTORY BOOK ABOUT THE FUCKING INCIDENT, DUMB-ASS. HE FOUGHT A VAMPIRE. Who then killed him and stole his body or some shit.

He's a good dude, give him a fucking chance.

Evidently my family used to not be horrible people, go figure.

[deuteranope]

until y'all got fucking invaded by vampires

what's the fucking book

Now not private

[strings_theory]

Do I look like a fucking vampire to you, dipshit?

Also oh my god.

@ jojo2 GET OVER HERE AND DEFEND YOUR HONOR, I GUESS.

[deuteranope]

well you got a taste for blood
I don't know how fucking a vamp works

oh my fucking god
calling your vampy ass great x300 gramps over here w o w

UN: JOJO2

[standless]

[Jonathan, of course, has no idea what's going on. He's been pinged to...someone's classifieds? An employment list??

Wait what's this about vampires-]

Hello?

I'm not quite sure what you're talking about, but why would my honor be at stake?

It seems more as if your honor is at stake Jolyne. (Though I shall certainly defend that as well! It is plain to see that you are not a member of the undead!)

[ah, he's arrived] actually I think I can see now,

First of all sir, I can assure you that neither myself, nor Jolyne, have a craving for blood. Though my diet has been affected by this body, it is quite the reverse! I cannot stomach even a small bit of meat! (I do quite enjoy mangoes, however)

[strings_theory]

I don't eat blood, Maverick! Just tends to end up in your mouth when you're bleeding from your lip or face, dipshit.

And that's what I was fucking saying, oh my god.

[deuteranope]

it counts

I'm just saying I wanna see some evidence before I just fucking accept some fancy shmancy jackoff from god knows where OR WHEN ain't some bloodsucker despite close vampy contact DID WE MENTION HE'S A FUCKING BAT, THE MOST VAMPIRE ASS THING

[standless]

I could certainly go to meet you in person if you wish!

[JONATHAN NO]

[deuteranope]

florida woman you're not fucking related to this oblivious dumbass who's all pretentious fuck no life preservation

[strings_theory]

He's like five fucking generations back, dude. From goddamned Victorian England. Surprise, my family ain't originally from America.

Also you're not going fuck-all anywhere by yourself, Jonathan. I don't wanna hear SPW or dad's bitching if something happened.

[standless]

[Jonathan is currently busy grimacing about L a n g u a g e

Why do all of you guys swear, so much,]

Well, I would not refuse company if it made you feel more comfortable with the discussion of course.

(Are you certain your father would get involved however? I never even met the fellow...)

Regardless, if we can agree upon a location, I'm certain we can discuss this properly, without any trouble.

[jonathan,]

[deuteranope]

[it's how his mama raised him]

ah english...not fucking surprised
your food fucking sucks dude

anyway I wouldn't fucking kill him unless he attacked me first so calm your shit
I dunno what the fuck you thinking meeting him would prove though like wow holy shit a bat, that totally isn't a vampire thing suddenly

[strings_theory]

I was about to say don't be rude, but no, you're right, the food fucking sucks.

I don't fucking trust you not to.

Also, Jonathan, you'd be surprised at what the stupid bastard gets upset and involved in. I barely got to see him when I came here, but apparently he orchestrated the whole fucking thing. Sur-goddamned-prise, I guess.

I dunno, he might be able to show you how he's not.