un: astrophenominal

[tsuns]

heyyyyyyyyyyy

what does a guy have 2 do to get a welcome back gift basket around here??????? i was gone 1 1/2 months and there aint a welcoming committee smh

best to just get it over with but i've been away on some..........................werewolf business lmao...................but i'm back, gotta graduate i guesssssss

some questions:

1. what did i miss???????
2. please tell me i missed some big tests b/c that means i should automatically get a 100 % that's the rule i saw it in the handbook
3. i also expect a late birthday party which means i am owed 2 (TWO!) gift baskets
4. how the fuck is my cat doing??????????? ricky rickymartin rickyweaseljr
5. i got a switch for my birthday and someone better play splatoon with me asap
6. who tf is my new roommate

Comments

[tsuns]

richard weaselby iii

what kind of gift????? did it go bad????????? where is it now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also yes u are a kid and a squid and a weary veteran
its super good

[deuteranope]

roommate's been using it, guess what I got one of those now so ricktoria got a stepdad fucker

eh I like shooters

[also guess who only skimmed the message and then got mad about ricky martin, it's not even martin, dummy!!!]

[tsuns]

they better be nice to her b/c i will not stand for even light aggravation directed as such an angel

also u can't just give my gift to someone else!!! i'm here now so they should give it to me

p.s. it is kinda a shooter, just not like....death shooty, more like ink shooty

cuz ur a squid

[deuteranope]

he's aight they bond over being princesses
maybe she even...likes...him...better...than...you

it's basically gone already dude

what the fuck I don't want to be a squid??

[tsuns]

that's a lie you take that shit back right now

[deuteranope]

it's what you get for abandoning our daughter better been a good fucking reason

[tsuns]

well i left to see my mom for my birthday

then maybe she was gonna be killed so yeah i stayed for that

[deuteranope]

what the fuuuuuck

yeah you get a fucking replacement bday gift man

[tsuns]

three gift baskets

[deuteranope]

why did it go up

[tsuns]

are u saying I dont deserve three gift baskets ??

[deuteranope]

I'm saying if you get two now that's the second and third gifts anyway so don't bitch

[tsuns]

wow one would be a welcome back gift so it doesnt count!!!!!

the other two is birthday + interest + apology for giving someone else my other gift

im giving u a discount

[deuteranope]

your welcome back gift is playing fucking squid wars with you, dick

[tsuns]

i thought u werent about being a kid squid??

so wishy washy richard

[deuteranope]

I ain't but it's easier on my wallet

[tsuns]

wow what a cheapskate!! are you always so stingy?? ridiculous!

my absence should be deserving of at least a little $$$$$$$$$

[deuteranope]

maybe fucking send child support next time

[tsuns]

wow!!!!!!!!!!! ill take ricktoria for 1 1/2 months and we can be even

maybe not a month and a half all at once but extra days i will make up for it! haaaaaahh

then you won't have to worry about being so broke and you can get me a truly respectable gift basket

[deuteranope]

you ain't taking my daughter away dream on

[tsuns]

uh did you forget she is also my daughter

did u become too broke to pay attention to how i picked her up from the animal shelter and officially named her such a glorious name

????

[deuteranope]

uh fuck you I named her??

[tsuns]

i put it on everything like her paperwork and stuff

i could have said fuck u her name is snowball or something dumb

[deuteranope]

and if you did she would definitely like her new stepdad more

[tsuns]

she would not

i'm gonna come over to see her in like 5 minutes u better let me in or the custody battle begins